tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45076212891133566862024-03-13T11:50:53.633-07:00Running Around for No ReasonMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.comBlogger192125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-30996939679906147002013-04-07T21:24:00.000-07:002013-04-07T21:24:03.562-07:00All My Bags Are PackedAfter a lot of thought and back and forth decision making I decided to move my blog to a wordpress account. I am still getting used to the formatting there, I haven't really had time to put much thought into the design, and I'm not 100% I like it more.....but, the layout just seems more clean and ultimately that won me over.<br />
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It's prettier and more awesome. There I said it. <br />
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I know if you have my blog in your reader (did you know Google Reader is gone for good this Summer?) or saved in your bookmarks it might be annoying to update it, but please do. All my old posts and comments are still there, and although there aren't very many of you (that I know of anyway) I'd really love to know that I'm still on your reading list. In the next few weeks I'll be adding all my little lovelies like Google+1 buttons, and share buttons or whatever. Please make the move with me, because my mom is going to get really lonely if you don't!<br />
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The new address is : <a href="http://ezactly.wordpress.com/">http://ezactly.wordpress.com</a><br />
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Ok GO! Update my address, or add it for the first time if you have just magically come across this post for no reason. Thank you!Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-39569673104196054352013-04-05T16:54:00.002-07:002013-04-05T16:54:28.926-07:00The Yucks This week has been a question of letting the nose run a little bit more or, oops, that yellow slash green goop is almost in his mouth. Ok now it is in his mouth so I'm sorry little brother, you're going to scream, but I have to wipe. Wipe, saline, suction, more wiping.....I hope I can keep the snot trail at bay for another hour by putting him through all of that. Temperatures and worrying. Bouncing around the house and sending my other loves to other bedrooms so me and the cranky babe can take up the whole bed with our restless night routines.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_FKTfuL5Bg/UV9jgRJeiUI/AAAAAAAABdI/UI4zcvSbkbM/s1600/IMG_1624.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B_FKTfuL5Bg/UV9jgRJeiUI/AAAAAAAABdI/UI4zcvSbkbM/s400/IMG_1624.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Miss Mad was sick earlier in the week, but handles the runny nose better than all of us. </i></td></tr>
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Today my own throat was scratchy when I woke. My head was throbbing. A shower, that fixes everything. No. Coffee maybe? Crying sad baby, still hurting. Finally in the afternoon I caved and closed my eyes for 30 minutes while he napped on my bed. My bed with no sheets because there was mucus throw up on them. Gross? That is simply life right now, it IS gross but mama doesn't get to opt out so you have to hear about it. My bed that was also covered in piles of (clean) laundry because I was just too tired to do it. That gets to be my excuse today anyway, not sure what the deal is the other days of the week.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sAGg-Q24lLU/UV9jsdJFHuI/AAAAAAAABdY/QOdvkQnWkNQ/s1600/2013-04-04+11.45.58.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sAGg-Q24lLU/UV9jsdJFHuI/AAAAAAAABdY/QOdvkQnWkNQ/s400/2013-04-04+11.45.58.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I wrapped him and we walked and walk and walked......</i></td></tr>
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So we slept, his eyes red and swollen from the sickness and just plain exhaustion. Mad Maddie watched TV, she had no complaints, and didn't realize what a terrible mother I feel I am when I plop her in front of the tv, alone, while I rest. Yesterday she went out the front door while I was emptying the garbage and headed to the neighbors. I ran around the house screaming her name, looking in closets, feeling my heart sink into panic mode, when the neighbor called over the fence that she was there. I was ready to cry and yell and hug her forever but she just didn't understand. And besides, her Auntie had just pulled up and that was much more important than my hugs. At least now, when she is playing with her bath toys in the sink, making a royal mess, I know she is there and I can hear her mess making.<br />
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I made a doctors appointment for the wee man then cancelled it. I hope he doesn't have an ear infection. I called my mom to whine about my problems. I put the babe down for another nap and prayed, even though I don't pray, that the day could end with a hot bath, BEFORE 9pm.<br />
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My sister says I'm not funny now that I'm a mom & married. I can't imagine what has happened to my sense of humor.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-84560036049857264762013-04-02T13:40:00.001-07:002013-04-02T13:40:26.869-07:00Easter Sunday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Life is hectic and as much as I tried to plan ahead, I had all the Easter basket fixings weeks ahead of time, the holiday came and went without much fanfare. Mad and I colored eggs one afternoon, in a rush, with the intent of coloring more with daddy later. That didn't happen so I was grateful for our spur of the moment egg afternoon after all. I didn't take pretty pictures of the kid's baskets because I put them together in the dark and they were up before the sun. The moment itself is more important than the pictures we remember them with but unfortunately mom and dad were just a little grouchy and it didn't feel as special as I had imagined it would. I don't think Mad noticed because she was so delighted with everything. I guess we need to see the world through her little 3 year old eyes more often. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R81t-TyfKzE/UVs95jZxaLI/AAAAAAAABcQ/c8NyRUxGX6k/s1600/IMG_1687.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-R81t-TyfKzE/UVs95jZxaLI/AAAAAAAABcQ/c8NyRUxGX6k/s400/IMG_1687.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Egg hunting</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PkVPpnseJKc/UVs9tWTDgUI/AAAAAAAABbY/VDU52_leXXg/s1600/IMG_1700.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PkVPpnseJKc/UVs9tWTDgUI/AAAAAAAABbY/VDU52_leXXg/s400/IMG_1700.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Jaime was good at grabbing the eggs, so long as sister didn't see him.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xBCeArUjFxc/UVs9xgOBVjI/AAAAAAAABbs/o3G_wHgy8GQ/s1600/IMG_1689.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xBCeArUjFxc/UVs9xgOBVjI/AAAAAAAABbs/o3G_wHgy8GQ/s400/IMG_1689.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Mama made an egg just for him. He was too tired to care.</i></td></tr>
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My Maddie so loves holidays. Every day should be a celebration, in her mind. She is happy for every holiday and every birthday, if for no other reason than to announce HAPPY *insert holiday or birthday here* to everyone she loves. She loves the decorations at the grocery store we frequent and of course loves any holiday themed treat or cake. The day will come when the holidays feel like more of a disappointment when it isn't as cool or done up as her friends at school (thanks, thanks a lot Pinterest) but for now she is so thrilled with the moments we have. I feel lucky for that. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0ZZWZdLQOxQ/UVs93ArRPJI/AAAAAAAABcA/GAg95ix4gSo/s1600/IMG_1715.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="285" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0ZZWZdLQOxQ/UVs93ArRPJI/AAAAAAAABcA/GAg95ix4gSo/s400/IMG_1715.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Bubbles are always her favorite</i></td></tr>
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So, Happy Easter, I hope it was a lovely one for everyone, if you celebrate. If we are being totally honest I just like making Easter baskets.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Not sure who likes her new purple Hunters more, her or me. </i></td></tr>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-36676755954698128222013-03-28T20:51:00.000-07:002013-03-28T20:51:02.856-07:00These Are the MomentsLately on Facebook a little story has been going around about a mom at the park who is so busy on her phone that she is missing out on what her child is experiencing. The first time I read it I felt the tiniest bit of guilt because, yeah, that is me sometimes. Even when we're at home, even at the dinner table; sad. Mad Maddie hates when I'm on my phone and at the same time her own obsession with technology is growing. I put her off so I can read something, so she finds an Ipad and watches a movie.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8cBRfx8IeYc/UVUNs3Hnh6I/AAAAAAAABbA/OGdyn5k43jU/s1600/2013-03-27+17.42.46.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8cBRfx8IeYc/UVUNs3Hnh6I/AAAAAAAABbA/OGdyn5k43jU/s400/2013-03-27+17.42.46.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Last year she couldn't figure out how to pedal. This year she just hopped on and did it! And I was there to see those first moments of glee in her eyes as she pushed that bicycle forward. Priceless.</i></td></tr>
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Shortly after reading that we were at the park and I looked around at everyone doing just that, missing out on beautiful moments because they are so distracted with their phones or even just gossiping with friends on the benches. One woman walked her toddler down, unpacked him from his huge fancy stroller, followed him around the park, all while talking on her hands free set. He wanted to swing, she pushed him two times and then took him out and walked away, never saying two words to him. He wandered around, too small to get to the top of the slide on his own or play on any of the other toys at all, until she picked up him (still on her phone) and headed home. They were there for 15 minutes on a BEAUTIFUL, rare, early Spring day and she was too busy talking to a friend about some dance drama (can you see that I have a knack for eavesdropping during my own park trips? An hour of swing pushing requires entertainment) to even help her boy play.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HfOYu8vGH98/UVUNgWB-28I/AAAAAAAABaU/1Yp33oJ-9Y0/s1600/2013-03-26+11.27.34.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HfOYu8vGH98/UVUNgWB-28I/AAAAAAAABaU/1Yp33oJ-9Y0/s400/2013-03-26+11.27.34.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I took this selfie and then melted to see how he was looking at me. He loves me! I feel like I don't deserve it sometimes, but I'm trying.</i></td></tr>
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So I've committed to less. Less phone time, less putting my Maddie off, less computer when I could be playing. Just less of everything that isn't being WITH my babies. I'm grouchy. Most days my tank starts off on empty and just depletes completely by the afternoon. This is all the more reason to be more present with them. To SEE their beautiful moments. To say YES more often when she asks me to help cook/clean/fold or to push her for an hour in the swing. To instill in them the memory that when they were young their mama wasn't perfect, but she was there. As a result I feel more guilt about my lack of patience but less guilt about what I am not giving them. I've found myself on the floor playing more often than ever before and it feels good. When I go to the park I don't have a million Iphone pictures to show for it because I make the conscience choice to leave my phone in the stroller, where it doesn't call to me.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ki_5J8boUi4/UVUNhghEuLI/AAAAAAAABao/xP53vNwk0Vw/s1600/2013-03-27+13.36.38.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ki_5J8boUi4/UVUNhghEuLI/AAAAAAAABao/xP53vNwk0Vw/s400/2013-03-27+13.36.38.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I do, however keep my phone with me during dress up hour. Our favorite.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jGi6YEVWfBo/UVUNjeQTLHI/AAAAAAAABa0/nkwoj4Zqtk0/s1600/2013-03-27+13.39.04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jGi6YEVWfBo/UVUNjeQTLHI/AAAAAAAABa0/nkwoj4Zqtk0/s400/2013-03-27+13.39.04.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Next week he'll be in the Tinkerbell costume, Maddie is dying to put it on him.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ed9cBNpYvVM/UVUNh50TlBI/AAAAAAAABas/L4V6K3dwj1U/s1600/2013-03-25+08.46.16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ed9cBNpYvVM/UVUNh50TlBI/AAAAAAAABas/L4V6K3dwj1U/s400/2013-03-25+08.46.16.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>They hug on each other all day. He climbs all over her when she is near.</i></td></tr>
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I try to find moments to fill my tank so the next day I can be better and more patient. I don't have the luxury of spending time out of the house without my kids and I always feel like I need some recovery time so I can't really ask for it constantly. Sweet Jaime is attached to me nearly 24/7, so I'm needing to find things that fill me up without taking too much time. One of those moments is when I am nursing him to sleep at night, especially now that it is still light when I put him to bed (I love the sun, I want to marry it, for reals). We nurse and snuggle, then when he falls asleep I stretch out and lay beside him for 20 or 30 minutes, letting him fall into a deep sleep before moving him to his bed. The quiet time is good and my bed is comfy with him snoring next to me. Tonight, after my quiet 20 minutes with Jaime, I got the kitchen cleaned up and got Mad ready and into bed. It all felt so much easier; my tank had been filled enough to get me through the evening.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ehzCaglerJ8/UVUNhovJ_YI/AAAAAAAABak/WUSJIrwh3kY/s1600/2013-03-26+10.08.49.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ehzCaglerJ8/UVUNhovJ_YI/AAAAAAAABak/WUSJIrwh3kY/s400/2013-03-26+10.08.49.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Nursing him when he is tired is heaven to me. </i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z-5woZyc-ng/UVUNs2NNFkI/AAAAAAAABbE/365ukIJsOQM/s1600/2013-03-27+18.12.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z-5woZyc-ng/UVUNs2NNFkI/AAAAAAAABbE/365ukIJsOQM/s400/2013-03-27+18.12.12.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She found this pretty dead flower for me. I treasure it.</i></td></tr>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-45089079137071108772013-03-18T21:39:00.004-07:002013-03-18T21:39:55.910-07:00Caffeinated This morning I was up with the birds (wait, the birds haven't arrived home....Spring is not yet in full swing), or the babies, so I could sneak downstairs and do some yoga. Because if I want to do something for myself I have to make time for it. Me time doesn't just fit into my day and it isn't easy managing it all if I somehow did fit time in. So that is how it is; I either wake early or don't get me time, or a shower. I was up and stretched, and showered, and dressed, before 9 AM, a little Jaime with tired eyes ready to help me make coffee and share my morning banana.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LusqdUTVtx0/UUfrAwlkOyI/AAAAAAAABZ0/nlwZt7UtUdk/s1600/2013-03-18+10.44.38.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LusqdUTVtx0/UUfrAwlkOyI/AAAAAAAABZ0/nlwZt7UtUdk/s400/2013-03-18+10.44.38.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>He started out excited to have mama all to himself.</i></td></tr>
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That coffee? I drank the <a href="http://ezactly.blogspot.com/2011/10/french-press-coffee-informational-post.html">whole press</a>. That day? It lasted for ever. FOR.EVER. Maddie was gone and, yeah, that makes life a little less hectic, but boring. Boring as hell. And Jaime felt the brunt of it. He took two really great long naps in his crib and then in my bed before 1PM. Then he didn't want to nap the rest of the day. We cycled through toy after toy, rearranged baskets (you guys, I'm obsessed with baskets) so there were new fun things to discover, and tried to clean sisters room while she was away, but eventually fussing was all that was left to do. All the while I was thinking thinking thinking. I forget to talk outloud when Maddie isn't around. Or maybe I don't, I just think out loud and don't realize it? Anyway, it was a long day and we had a hard time staying entertained. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LiIEfbCnRjQ/UUfrBEklXKI/AAAAAAAABZ4/iW9dFDJ7ZvI/s1600/2013-03-18+19.13.43.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LiIEfbCnRjQ/UUfrBEklXKI/AAAAAAAABZ4/iW9dFDJ7ZvI/s400/2013-03-18+19.13.43.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>So happy to have his best friend back. Also, Maddie is obsessed with naked.</i></td></tr>
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With the kids finally in bed I get to relax.<br />
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HA.<br />
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I did the second load of dishes for the day. Swept the floors. Picked up toys. Folded towels. Thought about folding the clothes in the dryer (still thinking about it). Mopped the floors. Got annoyed because my floors never look shiny anymore and I can't figure out why. Wiped the appliances down. Made a drink. "Ahhhhhhh" (pretty sure I thought that one rather than saying it)......and sat down to write this post. It isn't at all what I had wanted to write. It isn't eloquent or thoughtful at all really. It just is. This is life for me right now. I'm constantly trying to keep up and it's nearly impossible. I'm trying to be healthy (more on that another time, I hope) and fit all while being the attentive loving mother I long to be for my babies. It's hard.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lvYWVPj0kh4/UUfrB3aqqNI/AAAAAAAABaE/8yIBIQpb1l0/s1600/2013-03-18+21.55.42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lvYWVPj0kh4/UUfrB3aqqNI/AAAAAAAABaE/8yIBIQpb1l0/s400/2013-03-18+21.55.42.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Stainless steel is pretty but, my Lord, the fingerprints. </i></td></tr>
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Also, I made this yummy lunch for Stephen and I. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wOEDsCbcKGA/UUfrBD6kG5I/AAAAAAAABaA/E6W5tIH32ng/s1600/2013-03-18+13.46.32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wOEDsCbcKGA/UUfrBD6kG5I/AAAAAAAABaA/E6W5tIH32ng/s400/2013-03-18+13.46.32.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Half an avocado filled with chopped spinach, a fried egg, bacon, and topped with siracha.</i></td></tr>
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He sent me a text from his office in the basement saying it was delicious. I was so happy. Then I saw his plate in the sink with half of the avocado and half the spinach still on the plate (I guess he thought it was basil?). I knew it was not delicious. Am I the only one who struggles to make food that isn't just enjoyable for myself? I can make food I like. I can make food Maddie likes. But I just sort of miss the mark when it comes to The AngryBear. I hate it. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-8250264008729132482013-03-16T14:35:00.000-07:002013-03-16T14:35:03.063-07:007 MonthsOh Jaime. You are a crazy 7 month old baby. You are huge. HUGE. How my biceps are not enormous carrying your 21 pound self around all day, I'm really not sure, but they should be. You are extremely restless and keeping you happy all day has gotten to be a very difficult task. You have always loved to be carried but now even that is hard! I try to sit you on my hip and you lock your knees, pushing your little feet against my belly trying to stand on my body instead.You can't crawl, or even get on all fours, but it's obvious to you that you are the only one in the house that can't move on your own and it makes you ANGRY. When you play with toys you really play with them now, rather than just try to put everything in your mouth. In fact, I've started seeing your little brain working as you turn toys around in your hands, examining every facet of how they work. It's amazing to watch you try every button and dial, then turn the whole toy over to see what is on the other side. I only have your sister to compare to, obviously, and she played with these toys so differently than you do. There is so much thought put into your playtime and I feel like you will be so thoughtful and intelligent. I'm a little scared I won't be able to keep up with you!<br />
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You are a mama's boy, this is true, but finally your stranger (or not so stranger anxiety) has begun to ease. If you are tired or hungry you can be crabby, searching the room for you mama and then crying out when you find me, but most of the time you are easily distracted by smiles and kisses. When you need me I am always right there and you reach your entire body for mine so we are back together again. You have been nursing so well and really haven't experienced much in the way of "table" food. I let you feed yourself some squash or sweet potato in a little mesh feeder, but you eat the equivalent of 1/4 jar of baby food, MAYBE. I guess in my 2nd time mama wisdom I have remembered that all too soon you will be eating me out of house and home, like your sister does, and we are just enjoying this time that my mama milk satisfies all of your nutritional needs. You do nurse a lot, of course. We nurse in the Ergo baby carrier often so you can nurse to sleep and be carried against me while you take a long nap. It's exhausting and amazing all at the same time. This month I should skip talking about nights because my eyes are red and burning from all the sleep I am not getting. I won't blame it all on you, because your sister contributes, but this mama is tired and I'm wondering how my babies aren't exhausted every day! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b9RG9GLuwzE/UUTkh5Z-YoI/AAAAAAAABYY/L4XOynXuh_s/s1600/2013-03-13+14.23.14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b9RG9GLuwzE/UUTkh5Z-YoI/AAAAAAAABYY/L4XOynXuh_s/s400/2013-03-13+14.23.14.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Not an unusual scene. Frazzled mama, annoyed baby.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>A very unusual scene. Snoozing on daddy's lap.</i></td></tr>
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Jameson, you have made our family so happy. Your beautiful smile, contagious laugh, sweet snuggles and delightful squeals fill our lives with goodness. Thank you. I know your daddy and sister are just as in love with you as I am. xoxo<br />
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Some outakes from our 7 month photo shoot......you wiggle. A lot.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KaK6S8JaxCU/UUTkkIGXEJI/AAAAAAAABZE/GoAVmCf2v_c/s1600/2013-03-16+10.32.30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KaK6S8JaxCU/UUTkkIGXEJI/AAAAAAAABZE/GoAVmCf2v_c/s400/2013-03-16+10.32.30.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>This is what happens whenever you are on your back. </i></td></tr>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-68840722672280510992013-03-05T20:36:00.000-08:002013-03-05T20:36:02.423-08:006 Months6 months old. That is halfway to a year! Time please stop. Sweet Jaime. You are so happy OR so extremely angry/sad. You've really blossomed a personality this month and gone are the perfectly content days of your infanthood. You know that you want to move, but can't. You see things and want them. You want to be held and walked around the house all day, so I carry you in our carrier. You cook, clean, eat, and sleep with me this way and I love it. You love to sit up on your own to play. Mostly you like to play with sister. She is amazing to you, as are the cats, and you laugh whenever you see her, even though she hasn't done anything funny. We dance and sing to make you happy. Music really speaks to you and I think you must get that from your daddy. You sleep mostly terribly until you are finally next to me in bed. I know people think I create a monster with my kids and my bed but the truth is you DEMAND it and I just listen. I love you and will give you what you need to thrive, especially if all you need is my closeness and love. During this month you got some major stranger anxiety, but here we are just out of 6 months and it has started to subside, just as I knew it would if I continued to protect you and respect your need for me. But, that is news for next months (late) update. Your hair is fuzzy and soft. Daddy, Maddie, and I all love to rub our faces against your head, we just can't help it, you feel so good. You still love to nurse and toward the end of the month I started to see some relaxation on how/where we nurse. Before it was ONLY in bed, lying down, when it was very quiet. By the end of the month we started to practice nursing in the Ergo baby carrier and would sneak in some nursing on the couch again. I look forward to the days when I can go anywhere without worrying about feeding you. Although, speaking of eating, you are over 20lbs and are nearly 30 inches long without eating any solid table food. I am so proud of the fact that I made it 6 months without a single supplemental feeding and you are absolutely thriving on my milk. We've let you have some of a banana or avocado but you aren't interested in slurping puree from a spoon so I haven't really pushed it. Clearly you are healthy and will eat more food when you need and want it.<br />
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I love you. I adore you. You are beautiful and handsome and happy. You are mine, and I feel so lucky. Stay little my sweet baby, please stop growing!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Our first time nursing in the Ergo. We are now pros and nurse like this while we grocery shop!</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>You are obsessed with the cats. They are, well, not so much...but this day they wanted to nap on your changing table and let you pet them in exchange.</i></td></tr>
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*I am so tired and didn't even bother proofreading this post. If it makes no sense, well, just take that as proof of how much energy this boy has.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-48441205311710420132013-02-10T22:01:00.001-08:002013-02-10T22:01:44.399-08:00Winter Wrap-up. Please, Wrap.It.Up. It's late and I am the last one awake in the house. Daddy and baby fell asleep first and then I tiptoed up to Miss Mad's room where she was sneakily sitting at her desk coloring her "work jobs" (anything that seems like it would be for school, she is desperate to go, or just anything with a pen/pencil and paper) and chatting to herself. She hopped into bed, arranging bears around the pillows where the might be most comfortable and able to snuggle with each other, and settled into her warm nest of blankets. 4 bedtime songs and a few minutes of humming, a few reminders to keep her hands out of her nose and/or mouth, and she was off to sweet baby dreamland. I still see her soft cheeks while she sleeps and feel amazed that she is mine.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She is so awesome and strange at the same time.</i></td></tr>
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Tonight I'm thinking about all the things that will happen this year. I'm excited for a lot of new adventures and hopeful that I will be up to the task. I really hope some of those adventures include more writing....and more shopping too. WHAT?! Shopping is an adventure. It is.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I'm addicted to coffee accessories and chalk labels. </i></td></tr>
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This Winter is starting to get to me. Like a page in a book curling up with age, heat, moisture. I'm officially curled, only no heat was involved. Some weeks I hardly leave the house except to buy groceries and wine. If I can manage to send The Bear out to do those things for me, well, even better. I go to Target and buy dresses that are made for warm weather and sandals. I'm going to start wearing these dresses with fuzzy socks, cranking the heat up so high we all start to sweat and magically get tan. Don't believe me? Just you wait. JUST WAIT!<br />
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Often Maddie wanders around in circles whining and acting generally obnoxious. She refuses to go to her room to play because she wants to be with me, but she is BORED. Bored out of her mind. When the snow outside is nice and not icy she'll go make mini snowmen and practice her snowball throwing. Other days she just hangs out in her panties and begs to watch movies over and over and over. And over.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4_0LKqnIqJM/URiIgXiBhWI/AAAAAAAABW0/tuRRMS9L-V4/s1600/2013-02-01+15.50.15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4_0LKqnIqJM/URiIgXiBhWI/AAAAAAAABW0/tuRRMS9L-V4/s400/2013-02-01+15.50.15.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Watching a movie. I die, they are so cute. </i></td></tr>
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What I'm saying is, we are all ready for Spring. Ok? <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FzLsfwUATmM/URiIgsvrLmI/AAAAAAAABW4/FJ25YsztWXc/s1600/2013-02-07+13.53.22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FzLsfwUATmM/URiIgsvrLmI/AAAAAAAABW4/FJ25YsztWXc/s400/2013-02-07+13.53.22.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She isn't bored of him yet.</i></td></tr>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-8891345159974487062013-01-28T20:30:00.002-08:002013-01-28T20:30:36.369-08:005 Months - how did I forget?Somehow I forgot to blog my sweet Jaime's 5 month pictures! How could that happen? I'm sure I was just too buys kissing his rosy cheeks and smelling his stinky little feet. They really are kind of stinky, but he thinks it is hilarious. And sister tells him they are yummy, what a wonderful amazing sister.<br />
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My sweet baby. OH how you have grown! This month you are pulling the people you love in for smothering slobbering kisses, rolling to your tummy (but not to your back), munching on your toes whenever your stinky little tootsies are set free, and laughing laughing laughing. You love me, the mama. You search me out, find my eyes, throw yourself into a fit of excited jumps and wag your arms in the air, letting me know I can come to hold you any time, you are ready for me. You are tentative about people you don't quite remember. Add being tired and a somewhat empty belly to the mix? Well, that is the only time you REALLY cry. Your little bottom lip starts to quiver, tears well up in your blue eyes, and you just let it all out. I know people judge me when I jump to your rescue but it is important to me that you KNOW I will always be right there for you. Even daddy has forgotten that even your brave, social sister went through the same period at some point; I did the same for her and she turned out ok? But if you want to be mama's boy and cry for everyone else I'd be ok with that too, secretly. We are together, attached at the hip (or mama's nursies ;) ), all day and night so obviously I enjoy being there for you. I know you will grow out of wanting to be with me all the time so I kiss you and hug you every second that I can, because I wish it could last forever. I love you so my baby.<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-28466590417147236982013-01-13T22:41:00.001-08:002013-01-13T22:41:36.106-08:00Parenting OR Am I Doing It All WrongSometimes I get the itch to blog. But, I have nothing to say. Honestly, most days around the Bear house are pretty much the same. And our same isn't always that exciting. Well, Jaime thinks it is, but he is easy to impress! So, tonight I got the feeling that I wanted to blog. Like I need to pee, only I need to blog instead? Yep. I pushed it off since I could peruse Facebook instead without putting any thought into it at all. But the feeling stayed and I'm not tired (thanks to a sweet husband who let me sleep in this morning, whoa I'm not used to sleep!) so here I am.<br />
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There is one thing on my mind lately. It's there a lot because it is ever present in my life. Parenting. It's hard. I want to be completely honest but complete honesty makes me look bad, and it makes me feel sad. But, here it is. Mad Maddie is rough these days. I waiver between feeling like Stephen and I have too high of expectations, or perhaps don't truly understand what is normal behavior for little kids (perhaps a little of both?), and feeling that Maddie is a truly spirited child. I think it really is a bit of both of those things. I struggle with the yelling that so often accompanies her activities. I feel guilty when I don't have the time/hands to clean, nurse the baby, AND pay attention to her constantly. Add to that the time I spend on myself, showers, computer time, coffee, 15 minutes to stare at the wall and have no one touching me, I guess I put her off too often.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y0blC9WMPS0/UPOn-XND_iI/AAAAAAAABVs/-oLIl_NiyOE/s1600/2013-01-12+12.35.57.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y0blC9WMPS0/UPOn-XND_iI/AAAAAAAABVs/-oLIl_NiyOE/s400/2013-01-12+12.35.57.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Add caption</i></td></tr>
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We aren't the sort of family that has crafts and projects going every week, so often her activities are reading, coloring, and playing with her toys. No pretty blankets and picnics out in the woods, or trips to the market with mini child sized carts. No season pass to the zoo where we bundle up even in the bone cold Winter to watch the polar bears laze around. Our days have too many trips to "the stairs", which is a non-excluded version of time out. She never really sits there but she also can't be running amok and causing trouble for a few minutes, which we HOPE gets her to calm down just a bit. I tell her no, be quiet, stop doing that, put that away, go play in your room, way too much for my own liking.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Or27wSqWAMQ/UPOnqWhB6xI/AAAAAAAABVU/eKAVMnXpIYk/s1600/2013-01-12+17.56.52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Or27wSqWAMQ/UPOnqWhB6xI/AAAAAAAABVU/eKAVMnXpIYk/s400/2013-01-12+17.56.52.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I was so annoyed she wouldn't smile for this picture. Mom fail. </i></td></tr>
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The hardest part is, she is amazing. She is SO affectionate and tells me constantly how much she loves me. She adores Jaime, hugging kissing, rushing to his side when he wakes after naps. I feel like if I could JUST find her best way of disciplining things would be easier/better. We talk, we try to talk things out, allow her to have feelings, problem solve when she does something that isn't ok (hitting, mean words, yelling, waking the baby, torturing the cats, bossing her cousins.....etc), but the lessons never really last until the next episode. Which could be 5 minutes later or a day later, we never know. I want her to thrive while keeping my own sanity. I just don't.know.how.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZxZInvtbpR8/UPOnpw4FiGI/AAAAAAAABVI/ExQDqSNmImM/s1600/2013-01-11+17.38.41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZxZInvtbpR8/UPOnpw4FiGI/AAAAAAAABVI/ExQDqSNmImM/s400/2013-01-11+17.38.41.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The best big sister. The best.</i></td></tr>
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I feel like we need a screen free week VERY soon. A week without tv, for any of us, computer, ipads, or phones (except for phone use). I bet if I eliminated the time on all of that we'd have more done around the house and have more time to play the way she wants. At the heart of all of this I believe that more time on her terms would be a good solution. Maybe a membership to the zoo is in our future.......<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-24461244943136756962013-01-03T20:17:00.000-08:002013-01-03T20:17:03.646-08:00Resolution to ResolveI certainly need to update the header on this blog. Only I don't want to. Even though I love my Jaime baby, my little joyful chubby boy, I loved that Maddie baby first. And now she is growing. And growing. And I'm sad about it. I love who she is now, except when she talks back. But even then I love that a little too because I know that she is strong willed and knows what she wants and she is smart and clever and all those good things we hope our girls turn out to be. Who cares if she refuses to admit she knows her alphabet? Not me, not much anyway. She'll just start reading novels tomorrow because there was something cool on the cover. That is how my girl works. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KsyF5tmMdpk/UOZW2VZMJzI/AAAAAAAABPU/IaDCguOgjZ8/s1600/2012-12-30+12.20.55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KsyF5tmMdpk/UOZW2VZMJzI/AAAAAAAABPU/IaDCguOgjZ8/s400/2012-12-30+12.20.55.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My little ham bone. She loves her some pictures.</i></td></tr>
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Also, it is that time to admit that I caved and committed to, yet another, year of resolutions I'm not sure if I'll achieve. Only this year I have a head start. So, here is my list. The more and the less of the New Year. 2013, I don't know how you could compare to 2012 (remember that joyful boy I was just talking about?) but I welcome you to try. <br />
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MORE: <br />
♥ laughing<br />
♥ cleaning<br />
♥ writing<br />
♥ reading<br />
♥ kissing<br />
♥ snuggling<br />
♥ dressing up<br />
♥ wine drinking (that one will be really easy!)<br />
♥ patience<br />
♥ learning<br />
♥ dance parties<br />
♥ LIFE LIVING!<br />
♥ better wife becoming<br />
♥ mamaing<br />
♥ bath taking<br />
♥ moving....my body, not my house.<br />
♥ crafting<br />
♥ loving<br />
♥ playing<br />
♥ breastfeeding ♥<br />
♥ memory making<br />
♥ meal making<br />
♥ improper punctuating!;......""<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Oo6qGclUCfY/UOZXEkVR3yI/AAAAAAAABPc/SD2d8xZsGTw/s1600/2012-12-31+10.47.08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Oo6qGclUCfY/UOZXEkVR3yI/AAAAAAAABPc/SD2d8xZsGTw/s400/2012-12-31+10.47.08.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>More kisses on this happy face</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lm4ivOl9Xc4/UOZXZ7RUtPI/AAAAAAAABPk/iYY-P6Iyw1o/s1600/2012-10-01+10.07.33.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lm4ivOl9Xc4/UOZXZ7RUtPI/AAAAAAAABPk/iYY-P6Iyw1o/s400/2012-10-01+10.07.33.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>More bum shots please</i></td></tr>
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Less:<br />
♥ money spending<br />
♥ junk food eating<br />
♥ fighting (not that there was that much ;)<br />
♥ weight gaining (should also be pretty easy)<br />
♥ procrastinating<br />
♥ back aching<br />
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I'm happy my more list is longer than my less list. I'm also happy that I ending the year hoping that the next could be just a fraction as wonderful. <br />
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Resolution posts of the past : <a href="http://ezactly.blogspot.com/2009/01/give-me-reason.html">2009</a> <a href="http://ezactly.blogspot.com/2010/12/merry-end-of-holidays.html">2011</a> <a href="http://ezactly.blogspot.com/2011/01/1-1-11.html">More 2011</a> 2010 I only did a year end review, which was kind of a snore (it took me 3 posts, WTF man) and 2012 I was too tired and pregnant to care about resolutions. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-68691732953038563572012-12-30T21:41:00.001-08:002012-12-30T21:41:24.295-08:004 Months.....Very LateI just now realized that I haven't done a 4 month post yet. December is crazy and overwhelming and that is my excuse.<br />
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Jaime....you are a joyous light that has entered our home and we will never be the same again. I adore you. Daddy melts at your smile. Sister, well, she is more obsessed than any of us. We love you! I know every parent says this about their kids but I cannot even imagine life without you.<br />
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Lately.....you slobber everywhere, chew on everything, smile at everyone, and laugh so adorably it makes me want to freeze you at this age forever. I feel so lucky to be your mama. I had this perfect beautiful baby girl, your sister, and I thought life could not be any more amazing. Then I gave birth to you, my little ray of sunshine, and you have made our world complete. Thank you for being here. I love you.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-21190560845504696652012-12-22T22:37:00.001-08:002012-12-22T22:37:46.999-08:00To Christmas, With LoveGrowing up I have vivid memories of the perfect way my mom had about doing everything. The way she made my bed, folded my clothes, cut my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and drew little dogs and cats on paper during the boring parts of Sunday worship (my attempt at using non-Mormon words for my Mormon past). Christmas was no exception. Every memory has the touch of my mama in it. Our decorations, still put up every year for the granbabies, mostly made with her artistic hand. I remember making clay bears when I must have been very young. If I close my eyes I can almost feel myself in that kitchen with her and my older sister putting together messy little bears, cooking them, and painting them to put on our tree. I had fun making them but I liked her bears the best because they were perfect. I remember the way she packed her smell so good gingerbread ornaments (I think that is what they were made of anyway) in shirt boxes with paper towels to keep them from breaking. And my favorites, the little fabric packages stacked and tied with a string and the tiny mice sleeping in half a walnut shell; although I'm not sure if she made those, I would imagine she did because we were poor and she was that perfectly crafty, without Etsy or Pinterest or anything.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Gifts for my Mad Maddie</i></td></tr>
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Every Christmas Eve my sisters and I would be sent off to bed with instructions not to peek into the family room until our parents came to get us in the morning. We were never really Santa believers but we just knew if we peeked our mom and dad would know and, as I recall, they would take all our presents away. In the morning, much too late for our parents would bring us down the hallway and into the family room where the Christmas tree was located. My dad would have been recording our sleepy eyed reactions as we entered the room. There it was, a pile of beautifully wrapped gifts, an individual wrapping paper pattern for each daughter, beneath the tree. I loved the pretty packages. No bows or ribbons, just plain paper with a little piece reversed and taped with our name on it. And of course our stockings spread out on the floor full of little candies and presents.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Dp5zbYFYIk4/UNal6n3n7CI/AAAAAAAABOQ/Pik5ftB0-f0/s1600/2012-12-22+22.24.00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Dp5zbYFYIk4/UNal6n3n7CI/AAAAAAAABOQ/Pik5ftB0-f0/s400/2012-12-22+22.24.00.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I found matching jammies for my babies!</i></td></tr>
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As I grew older and started wrapping my own gifts for friends and family she shared her trick with me; you crease the edges of each box to make it look neat. I have practiced for years trying to make my packages look as effortlessly perfect as hers did. Turns out it isn't as easy as she made it look. Maybe by the time Maddie can REALLY remember her wrapped Christmas gifts I will have it down. I want her to have the same memories of me that I have of my own mama so she can pass more memories down to her babies. I want her to always come home and want me to cut her peanut butter and honey sandwiches just so, to have her bed made just the way I did it, sheets tucked tight, and to come out on Christmas morning to pretty perfectly wrapped gifts, edges creased.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tZOCZgrXkYM/UNal7c1hsUI/AAAAAAAABOY/UQxDpYi4tvE/s1600/2012-12-22+22.45.48.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tZOCZgrXkYM/UNal7c1hsUI/AAAAAAAABOY/UQxDpYi4tvE/s400/2012-12-22+22.45.48.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My imperfectly wrapped gifts.</i></td></tr>
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I only wish she could remember how soft my skin was and think that I never had to shave my legs. Alas, unlike my mama, that will never be true. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-20173891102353780052012-12-12T22:34:00.001-08:002012-12-12T22:34:23.541-08:00Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-52635240488349299212012-11-28T19:42:00.003-08:002012-11-28T19:43:20.526-08:00We Gave ThanksThis time of year always feels crazy. Even more so when you have a little bebe around to care for 24/7. It's nice because he gives me an excuse to slow down and love in the moment. I'm thankful for that....for him, for my babies, my family, my loves. That is what means the most to me this year.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kmnPqORz6G8/ULbYu5rVMXI/AAAAAAAABLg/iSl8DG7r_I4/s1600/2012-11-22+14.14.30.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kmnPqORz6G8/ULbYu5rVMXI/AAAAAAAABLg/iSl8DG7r_I4/s400/2012-11-22+14.14.30.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Thanksgiving. His funny little tongue cracks me up!</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-20-7sZdlOuQ/ULbYxkIj1sI/AAAAAAAABLw/rABlWo7sBwA/s1600/2012-11-26+20.27.01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-20-7sZdlOuQ/ULbYxkIj1sI/AAAAAAAABLw/rABlWo7sBwA/s400/2012-11-26+20.27.01.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She got her own tree, in her bedroom, this year.</i></td></tr>
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One thing that has kept me grounded and sane lately is meal time at home. It isn't always easy to make a meal from scratch every single night but that is our goal and most nights we are successful. Sometimes I end up chopping veggies at an insanely slow pace while a baby is strapped to my chest.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GWTlQHdmEHc/ULbYtjrro7I/AAAAAAAABLY/Zj5cN862Z5o/s1600/2012-11-21+16.22.11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GWTlQHdmEHc/ULbYtjrro7I/AAAAAAAABLY/Zj5cN862Z5o/s400/2012-11-21+16.22.11.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>He loves to be part of everything I do. </i></td></tr>
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Other nights Mr. Bear struggles to entertain him, when all he wants is a boob and bed, so I can just get the food on the table. Most nights I set down a meal for my family and whisk our Mini Bear off to bed. I know my food is getting cold but I have learned that this time passes too quickly and there is no reason to be resentful of the time I <strike>have </strike>get to spend sitting, rocking, nursing, and kissing my baby. You would think that would be easy to do but the reality is, when you are mama, the day just keeps going while you sit, be still, and care for the little one. That means cold meals, or no meal at all, missed conversations, messy houses, and many other details of the day that we just have to be ready to skip out on at a moments notice. I struggled with that when I had Maddie. I hate to admit I felt that way but I didn't realize, at the time, how much I'd miss missing things just to be in quiet place with her, alone.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B_2GhQI3Kak/ULbYwAv9UAI/AAAAAAAABLo/rBncbco6za4/s1600/2012-11-24+15.54.20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-B_2GhQI3Kak/ULbYwAv9UAI/AAAAAAAABLo/rBncbco6za4/s400/2012-11-24+15.54.20.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>We napped </i></td></tr>
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So when I haven't posted in a while....since that is what usually happens. I am probably doing dishes or caring for my loves (sweet AngryBear included). They are my heart, not just a part of it, ALL of it. I only wish I was better than I am at it.<br />
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Happy Holidays Interwebs!Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-40120383299539010962012-11-19T20:25:00.001-08:002012-11-19T20:25:51.071-08:003 MonthsMy sweet Jaime,<br />
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You are 3 whole months old! It's amazing how fast time has gone by. You like to talk talk talk talk talk. Such a chatterbox. You make everyone who meets you feel so special because you smile and just tell them all about yourself. Your round cheeks are so kissable! I kiss you so much and I think it makes your already sensitive skin even more so but I just. Can't. Stop. You adore your sister. ADORE! I could not have imagined the way you two have bonded. She is SOOOO overwhelming and tends to smother you and get in your face, loudly, and often, but you just smile and jabber at her. When you hear her voice you search the room to find her. You love to twist your little chubby fists in her blonde hair. I love it. I love you both so much I can't imagine how I ever lived my life without you both in it.<br />
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Your easygoing personality has not changed. You get cranky and want to be carried constantly but when it is time to sleep, at night, you put yourself to sleep (after nursing for a good 30 or 40 minutes) and stay down until 3 AM, usually. I couldn't ask for more! You love to stand up on my legs, be tickled on your ribs, "fly" in the air, and trot on my knees. Every day with you is amazing and wonderful. I feel so lucky to be your mama.<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-13924073172098091652012-11-10T21:03:00.002-08:002012-11-10T21:07:54.912-08:00RecapTonight I'm sitting up, alone. My babies are tucked snuggly into their beds (well, maybe not so snug for my little Prince with the no blankets rules etc), my sweet husband is snoozing (tomorrow is our anniversary, he must be anxious for it to begin!), and even the kitties are tucked into strange spots purring away. This is the time I have to think.....I replay my days.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dYlJN8NMGBg/UJ8xYJrvvzI/AAAAAAAABJg/e9qs9-AKuiM/s1600/2012-11-10+18.00.07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dYlJN8NMGBg/UJ8xYJrvvzI/AAAAAAAABJg/e9qs9-AKuiM/s400/2012-11-10+18.00.07.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Making dinner with a baby wrapped to your body takes practice.</i></td></tr>
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I scolded a squirrely Maddie several times....more than I would like. She was just tired and happy to be with us, maybe wanting some special attention, which for my little bug equals wild hysterics, rule breaking, and major meltdowns when things don't go her way. Our little Prince (Jameson Prince is Mad's nickname for him, so I'll go with it) had something causing discomfort and he would not nap for more than 5 minutes even though he was totally and completely exhausted. So, I rubbed some teething oil (clove oil drops in EVOO) on his gums, just in case, wrapped him up on my chest and we walked. His warm little head felt so good on my chest once he finally gave in to his exhaustion and fell asleep. We, very slowly, made dinner this way. I took my baby girl and tucked her into bed. When she finally fell asleep I kissed her cheeks and lips, obsessively my husband says, and whisper that I'm sorry I'm a grouchy mama and I love her so. I know later she will sneak down the stairs and into bed with her mama and daddy, her legs swinging over my waist, her face snuggled into a pillow that probably smells like me. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RpD5ape45xg/UJ8wlba9egI/AAAAAAAABJY/G7Z44vSs7mI/s1600/2012-11-08+07.56.49.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RpD5ape45xg/UJ8wlba9egI/AAAAAAAABJY/G7Z44vSs7mI/s400/2012-11-08+07.56.49.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>He watches everything she does. He loves her already.</i></td></tr>
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Whenever the day is over I can remember all the wonderful moments and I wonder why I got so grouchy. Is it just the nature of being the mama? Of loving, caring for, cleaning up after, tending to constantly, that makes patience nearly non-existent? That makes the beauty of our life a little more difficult to see in the heat of the tantrum/moment?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A1M1gtfNhC8/UJ8wj-51vxI/AAAAAAAABJQ/9FsArSfZD4Q/s1600/2012-11-02+14.00.55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-A1M1gtfNhC8/UJ8wj-51vxI/AAAAAAAABJQ/9FsArSfZD4Q/s400/2012-11-02+14.00.55.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>They make me laugh. She adores him.</i></td></tr>
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I looked at Jaime tonight and saw him toddling around the house, making messes with sister, sitting in a high chair eating food that my body doesn't personally provide for him, being naughty, growing right before my very eyes. And then I blinked and I saw my Maddie sitting in my lap. Big beautiful blue eyes laughing at everything I say, giving me big slobbery open mouthed kisses, sitting patiently while I kissed her over and over (I've always done this).<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kaeN9-ewwps/UJ8yS6knuII/AAAAAAAABJs/c54LVOyuqUM/s1600/2012-11-01+16.05.55.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kaeN9-ewwps/UJ8yS6knuII/AAAAAAAABJs/c54LVOyuqUM/s400/2012-11-01+16.05.55.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Even when he doesn't nap he is my angel baby. Truly, he lights up our lives. </i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wMhCqISHFyY/UJ8wiZpxBaI/AAAAAAAABJI/KxTCIWW3mSY/s1600/2012-11-01+16.15.09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wMhCqISHFyY/UJ8wiZpxBaI/AAAAAAAABJI/KxTCIWW3mSY/s400/2012-11-01+16.15.09.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She was only 1. Perfection. I wish I could have that moment back, just for a moment.</i></td></tr>
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I must be better. I love my babies so.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-50159231654417346832012-10-29T19:52:00.000-07:002012-10-29T19:52:52.471-07:00Happenings<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Hr1PhoupSkM/UI8_cvFhrAI/AAAAAAAABHo/HOIkBDJjQoY/s1600/2012-10-19+19.25.42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Hr1PhoupSkM/UI8_cvFhrAI/AAAAAAAABHo/HOIkBDJjQoY/s400/2012-10-19+19.25.42.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My handsome hubby</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-15OKFggQNmE/UI8_d3IlhwI/AAAAAAAABHw/IwPHodlu0Vk/s1600/2012-10-23+14.41.03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-15OKFggQNmE/UI8_d3IlhwI/AAAAAAAABHw/IwPHodlu0Vk/s400/2012-10-23+14.41.03.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>The band was my birthday gift. I didn't think I could love my ring any more, but I do.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-edIR54pJKlU/UI8_fFDyOzI/AAAAAAAABH4/XT3b5RNFg0U/s1600/2012-10-23+15.48.10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-edIR54pJKlU/UI8_fFDyOzI/AAAAAAAABH4/XT3b5RNFg0U/s400/2012-10-23+15.48.10.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Beautiful birthday flowers from my sweet brother</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AbYcuCVS_78/UI8_giGvqfI/AAAAAAAABIA/Z_pDlJDBkWw/s1600/2012-10-25+10.20.01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AbYcuCVS_78/UI8_giGvqfI/AAAAAAAABIA/Z_pDlJDBkWw/s400/2012-10-25+10.20.01.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She wants to wear her babies too</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Muex0-popfc/UI8_h0JZP5I/AAAAAAAABII/zVeNQouUlMU/s1600/2012-10-25+16.35.24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Muex0-popfc/UI8_h0JZP5I/AAAAAAAABII/zVeNQouUlMU/s400/2012-10-25+16.35.24.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>His little hands slay me *swoon*</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b5jp2eblegw/UI8_jYiaZRI/AAAAAAAABIQ/eHOctNbqXQI/s1600/2012-10-27+12.29.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b5jp2eblegw/UI8_jYiaZRI/AAAAAAAABIQ/eHOctNbqXQI/s400/2012-10-27+12.29.12.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>My beautiful girl. This was such a good day.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vXSnPz2urEE/UI8_k_yaBiI/AAAAAAAABIY/xFjgqTXULhc/s1600/2012-10-28+08.31.58.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vXSnPz2urEE/UI8_k_yaBiI/AAAAAAAABIY/xFjgqTXULhc/s400/2012-10-28+08.31.58.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Bedroom eyes, be still my heart</i></td></tr>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-26881020426214250302012-10-26T16:24:00.002-07:002012-10-26T16:24:53.988-07:00Stocking Stuff 2012 Christmas EditionRather than a full blog post I just thought I'd share that I've been working on a couple stocking stuffer boards on Pinterest. Not that they are all that interesting since pretty much anyone could do some searches for stocking stuffers and find the same :). However, if you are lazy, like I am most of the time, feel free to take a peek. Most everything I would love to receive myself or would get for someone in my life. Some of my favorites?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZNJGpmIBp6c/UIsYMJv7lcI/AAAAAAAABHA/QdYDU7rEp2U/s1600/cosmeticbag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZNJGpmIBp6c/UIsYMJv7lcI/AAAAAAAABHA/QdYDU7rEp2U/s400/cosmeticbag.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/238690848972024509/">Pretty Paris Cosmetic Bag</a></i></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3drg_3-zYCM/UIsY16W2WiI/AAAAAAAABHI/UWvfQMKPMR4/s1600/bows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3drg_3-zYCM/UIsY16W2WiI/AAAAAAAABHI/UWvfQMKPMR4/s400/bows.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/238690848972023286/">Felt bows</a> by<a href="http://mrspriss.com/"> blogger </a>and Etsy shop owner Mrs. Priss</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-emMgzBzDOGU/UIsZlKYYsjI/AAAAAAAABHQ/bBZ6l13n8uc/s1600/coal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-emMgzBzDOGU/UIsZlKYYsjI/AAAAAAAABHQ/bBZ6l13n8uc/s400/coal.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/238690848972024516/"><i>Christmas Coal soap</i></a></td></tr>
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Ok I can't really pick favorites because I like them all but these are some peeks at a few fun things. I'm really trying to have my ideas ready before I start shopping because I always forget by the time I get my Christmas spending money. I hate to be talking holidays before Halloween has even begun but PEOPLE I'm trying to be prepared. Confession, I already bought some cute things that I have on the list that aren't even being set aside :/. Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-19057456538197077352012-10-18T14:59:00.002-07:002012-10-18T14:59:29.008-07:002 Months2 months since my little giant entered the world on that long long night in August. 2 months since I first put my hands on his soft skin and smelled his delicious baby breath. 2 months since his first cries and first gaze into my eyes. 2 whole months. It goes so fast, it really does. This time I expected it but it still just flies by at an alarming rate.<br />
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The truth is, beyond 2 months feeling like a long time to have been alive, he doesn't do too much to write about. He's just beyond adorable almost all of the time. What else is there to do? I'd say he sleeps like an angel but I'm still anticipating the day when he doesn't sleep well anymore. Or the day I realize he doesn't get any better, he just always wakes up to nurse once a night until he leaves for high school. He talks and smiles and gurgles at us in the most delightful voice. His chubby little arms and legs flail around while he tries to catch on to something, though he isn't quite sure what to do with an object once he has it in his tiny little grasp. <br />
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At this age you can see a glimpse of the fun baby they are growing into BUT you aren't quite there yet. He is just a suggestion of what he will be in 2 more months. We nurse, sleep, walk around, talk, change some diapers, nap, change more diapers, nurse a lot more, walk around, nurse, have some tummy time......every day is pretty much the same, just like that. I spend a lot of time with my lips planted firmly on his cheek or my nose pressed next to his mouth, because I'm absolutely intoxicated with the smell of his skin and breath. Absolutely.<br />
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Sometimes he cries. Mostly he complains. His sister adores him. I adore them both.<br />
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Mothering two babies is hard work. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. There are days like today when I wake up to a potty trained toddler who has pooped in her night pull up. When the day starts off with a mandatory bath before I've even washed the sleep from my eyes I know I will just be tired.all.day. And I am. I will be. I was. And it is so worth it to love on my babies every minute. I just hope they know I love them so.<br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-47097775575972364332012-10-06T21:40:00.004-07:002012-10-06T21:40:55.327-07:00At the End of the DayI could probably read back to my posting after Mad was born and read the same things that I feel like I want to write today.<br />
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Well, SOME of the same things. Because to be honest moving from 1 to 2 babies (ssssshhhhh Mad is absolutely still my baby, her hands are still a little chubby) is so so so much easier than moving from <strike>alcoholic</strike> zero babies and zero clue to life with a child. I can't say I know what I'm doing, because I'm not sure if I ever will, but I definitely feel more confidence in just jumping into the unknown that is raising children. Before it was a jump from complete selfishness to absolute selflessness....for the rest of my life.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yQMwlHPfxFQ/UHEDqj5LGhI/AAAAAAAABGA/BZmEyLyIQOU/s1600/2012-10-05+11.23.37.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yQMwlHPfxFQ/UHEDqj5LGhI/AAAAAAAABGA/BZmEyLyIQOU/s400/2012-10-05+11.23.37.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Not TOO hard to be selfless when your babies are this adorable</i></td></tr>
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Anyway, lately I'm just feeling the weight of every choice I make with my time. In the morning I could snuggle more in bed making my baby laugh, letting Mad climb on me and trying not to grouch at her (my body is soooore in the mornings, why? shouldn't I feel rested?), and just being warm and snuggly with my family. OR I could shower, God knows it will take hours before I catch the right 20 minute time frame if I wait. OR I could workout. Because I'm fat. And I hate that. And I know my husband doesn't hate my body but wants me to be healthy, as I want him to be healthy. OR I could just get up and stop avoiding the inevitable, make some breakfast and pour some coffee into my desperately exhausted body.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Seriously, a must have for my mornings no matter how they begin</i></td></tr>
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Those all make for a difficult choice to start out EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Makes me tired just thinking about it. Yesterday I chose to shower. Oh it was a good shower. I find my days are a lot more functional if I start them fully dressed. I'm a lot less likely to take a nap if I've already gotten ready and honestly I don't have time for naps anymore (something I imagined doing all the time when I was pregnant). Today I decided, with my AngryBear's support, to take an hour for myself and run down to Starbucks for coffee. It was nice and I wish I could do that more often. Turn my mama self off for a few minutes, I mean.<br />
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The choices continue throughout the day. Hold the baby when he is happy and cooing and melt at his perfection or let him play on his play mat during the only time he'll tolerate it so I can sit with Mad and read The Berenstain Bears books that she is so obsessed with lately. Eat lunch or switch the laundry. Fold that laundry or do anything other than fold the laundry. As an aside, I almost always choose the latter on that one because I hate folding laundry. So the clothes sit in their baskets for a couple days until I just dump it all onto the bed and put it away while wondering why I put it off so long; it is never as bad as I imagine it to be. Anyway, I really do feel like I'm rolling with things a lot better than I did when I had Mad but I'm always feeling like the way I choose to spend my time is the wrong way. My house could be cleaner, more organized and decorated. My kids could be happier and more fufilled with true quality time more often. My body could ache a little less and look a whole lot better.....I just don't have time for it all. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She's a spaz. And she needs lots of mama attention or she is crazy. </i></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Nursing....love it, so much, and it takes up a HUGE chunk of my day.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Dreaded laundry piles. But cute baskets.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Found time for a day date with my babies and my mama.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Made time for a hair cut....with lots of tears involved.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>No one else in this picture is worried about getting things done.....</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>5 days a week goal for making my bed.</i></td></tr>
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At the end of the day I just want to know what choice I can make that will help me with my patience levels. Something I'm really struggling with lately. The End.<br />
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Oh wait, I never posted a 1 month post for my sweet baby. Good thing they aren't really doing anything at 1 month. Except getting fat. My sweet boy is getting soooo fat and I love it. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uy_7Bv0EEHs/UHEDhk6rV_I/AAAAAAAABFQ/YZb4r5Ul-vA/s1600/2012-09-18+12.43.15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uy_7Bv0EEHs/UHEDhk6rV_I/AAAAAAAABFQ/YZb4r5Ul-vA/s400/2012-09-18+12.43.15.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>He's my fatty fat fat and I love to kiss him.</i></td></tr>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-60870752787732077542012-09-18T21:35:00.001-07:002012-09-18T21:36:44.962-07:00Happy BirthdayTo my Madeleine,<br />
In just a few hours (well, 12 but I'm going to sleep and you already are so it will FEEL like a few) you will be 3. THREE YEARS OLD! How did this happen? I'm having a lot of mama guilt today because I've been down with mastitis the last 3 days and don't have a single thing to surprise you with in the morning. You can blame brother for trying to look like the good sibling by sleeping so well so early, before mama was ready, since I'm pretty sure that is what got me into this position. Luckily you don't expect anything more than exclamations about it being your real birthday (you like to pretend a lot) and hugs and kisses from me and your brother. Don't worry, I'll make your day special. Every day with you is special my sweet girl, I just don't always appreciate it the way I should. Tomorrow I will, and I hope to remember that more often.<br />
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Life with you as a 3 year old is never boring. It never has been, but especially now. I love this video (below this paragraph) because you are talking up a storm not knowing what exactly you are saying. Little did we all know that wouldn't change much. Now if you have stuff to say but can't quite figure out what word to use you just make the noise of the action. Like spitting into the sink after brushing your teeth. You tell us you need to *pfffft* and that is as close to the sound as I can type. It is adorable. Sometimes you make noises you shouldn't know and don't really understand, like today when you told me you were going to *pshew pshew* me, meaning you were pretending to shoot me with a gun. Thanks Tavian, I'm pretty sure I owe that one to you. As well as the *hiya*ing. <br />
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I'd like to remember your favorite things right now but......I have no idea what they are. You love life, you love stuff, you love EVERYTHING! Every family member is the best when you are with them, every color of the rainbow is a favorite when you look at it, every toy has their moment, every food is good when you are eating it. You are just full of appreciation and love for life and all the things, and people, in it. Every time we drive past the park you ask if we can stop and go to the park. I never take you, we have all the same things in the backyard but I guess I should. Because you would love it. I have a lot to learn from you little girl. You are FULL of life and ideas and most of all happiness. You laugh and cry and get angry (I know because you tell me so) and every emotion is so vivid with you. Luckily you are most often happy or simply opinionated, hardly every crying or whining, except when fit trowing. I know if I were a better mam to you it would be easier to make all the fits go away. I'll try harder this next year ok? (this video is your first really good laugh, you loved life from the beginning).<br />
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Oh Madeleine. Bringing you into this world was not an easy thing for me to do. I don't think it was too easy for you either. But we did it, together, and I'm so happy you are here, my first daughter. My first and forever baby. I love every inch of you and wish I could hold you in my arms right now as I weep while writing this. I hope you remember that, no matter what happens. Your mama loved you so much it made her cry when you were away. Even when she was a grouch she missed you the moment you left her side. That is how amazing you are sweet girl. Happy 3rd birthday. I cannot wait to see how we celebrate together. (below: an old phone picture of your sweet baby tummy, snoozing on my lap. No wonder you hate to sleep without me ;)<br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sweetscorpion/8001987475/" title="IMG_0340 by sweetscorpion, on Flickr"><img alt="IMG_0340" height="375" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8441/8001987475_88d744b0fa.jpg" width="500" /></a>Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-29729569497274671652012-09-08T14:09:00.002-07:002012-09-08T14:09:40.662-07:00OverdueI had all kinds of plans to post a lengthy, overly detailed, birth story. That didn't happen and I kind of lost interest in the story. I guess that happens as you move away from birth and into life with your baby. At 3 weeks it feels like old news*snore* and things like poop and throw up are more my current life right now. Exciting! I'm so cool! And interesting! I never leave the house unless it is for the baby!<br />
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Anyway, a brief rundown. It was no secret that I wanted a med free labor and delivery. Here is how it went down.<br />
♥ contractions began 10 minutes apart at 4 AM and continue consistently all day.<br />
♥ We ran some last minute errands to pass the time. Mr. Bear liked to shock people by telling them I was in labor. This only happened once but I could tell that he liked it, ok.<br />
♥ Labored intensely at home until 7ish PM then headed to the hospital.<br />
♥ Checked in at 7cm I was feeling like a rock star!<br />
♥ Tub then checked an hour later, 8 1/2 cm<br />
♥ 2 hours after arriving tons of pressure, major panic setting in @ 9 cm<br />
♥ Lots of doubting, baby has been posterior sooooo that = back labor this whole day. I'm tired.<br />
♥ by midnight I'm still at 9 cm and pushing involuntarily but my water still hasn't broken so I ask her to break it in hopes that I can push the baby out within the hour.<br />
♥ Pain. Constant, never ending, intense contractions. Pressure in the wrong area.....I know baby isn't ready to come out.<br />
♥ Pushing on my side/back where I am most comfortable with no change. Still at 9 cm because baby is posterior still and not turning.<br />
♥ Pushing on hands and knees. Nothing.<br />
♥ It's 2 AM. I've been at 9 cm since 10 PM. I yell at everyone a lot and demand an epidural. I am exhausted and cannot move. I know that the baby isn't coming until he turns and that could be hours.<br />
♥ At roughly 3 AM I have the epidural. I'm too tired to be disappointed. Baby's heart rate drops a little but I find a good position for him and fall asleep for 20 minutes.<br />
♥ By 4 AM baby has turned. I credit my nap during which contractions slowed down quite a bit and that is how I will continue to justify giving in to the epidural. Dr. thinks she will need to use forceps, calls backup. She is worried that there is something wrong with baby's position and I might even need a C-Section though the thought never crossed my determined mind. <br />
♥ Pushing.<br />
♥ 4:30 AM more pushing. Dr. says this baby is going to be huge.<br />
♥ 5:04 AM my beautiful baby is born. "It's a boy!" Stephen says. He knew it. He's huge.<br />
♥ 10 lbs 3 oz and cute as a button.<br />
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Did I say brief? I suppose this IS brief for me.....<br />
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We've been busy living life, too busy to care that things didn't go exactly as I had hoped. Now I feel pretty great and am anxious to drop the excess weight I've been hanging onto for years now. It's hard to be patient. I miss the little kicks inside of me but even waking at night to nurse a baby is easier than sleeping with an enormous painful belly. Jaime fits right in. He complains a lot but doesn't cry too often unless there is no boob when he wants it or someone is holding him who doesn't know how to do the bounce & pat pat system the way mama does. Which means pretty much everyone, except for Gram, and so I do a lot of the holding and calming. I still love him. Mad loves him. I miss giving her all my attention but in all honesty this Summer has been tiring and not that wonderful for mothering so I guess this is better. <br />
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-3894208712079089662012-08-26T12:21:00.002-07:002012-08-26T12:21:46.704-07:00And Then This Happened....<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gsUM2KmP5Xc/UDp2HbXorvI/AAAAAAAABC8/dijtN415z7s/s1600/Jaimebirth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gsUM2KmP5Xc/UDp2HbXorvI/AAAAAAAABC8/dijtN415z7s/s400/Jaimebirth.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i>Introducing Jameson Bradley T., born 08-16-12 5:04 AM, weighing a whopping 10 lbs 3 oz</i></b></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Sissy looks on as her brother hollers for milk</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Napping on daddy's chest on day 2</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UmvYtakZTeg/UDp2IiOD3jI/AAAAAAAABDM/0KJL1rShy4Q/s1600/madandjaime.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="333" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UmvYtakZTeg/UDp2IiOD3jI/AAAAAAAABDM/0KJL1rShy4Q/s400/madandjaime.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>She absolutely could not be more in love <3 babies="babies" br="br" my="my"></3></i></td></tr>
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<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4507621289113356686.post-75410244370138748082012-08-07T20:53:00.000-07:002012-08-07T20:53:06.668-07:00A LetterMy Dear Sweet Madeleine,<br />
<br />
Every day now I wonder if this will be my last day with you, just you, my first baby. You seem less worried about it than I do and I think that you will be amazing. You wrap your sweet arms around my enormous belly and nuzzle your face in to me, whispering love to your baby brother or sister. You make sure baby always gets kisses goodnight and when you leave you ask if baby misses you when you are gone. It melts my heart, truly. People worry about how you will react, if you will be jealous, but I am not worried at all. I know you will be amazing; maybe a little rough around the edges, but amazing. This baby is oh so lucky to have you and I hope throughout your life you are always the one to love and protect him/her when mama and daddy aren't around.<br />
<br />
You have grown so much this year, my love, and I almost don't recognize you. You have such interesting thoughts and you notice EVERYTHING. The other day you told me I was pissing you off! Oops, you got that one from your mama for sure. You eat.....and eat and eat and eat. Anything and everything you truly do not discriminate. Grapes, cheese, berries (raspberries, blueberries & strawberries), and most any other breakfast food is your most requested food when we head to the store. Carrots, pasta, chicken, "han-ger-ber-gers", "cados" (avocados), artichokes (I mean, what 2 year old knows how to eat artichokes? You! They are our family treat.), rice, peas, salad (yes! I am not kidding you love salad, especially caesar salad) any veggie, you name it. And every meal you are so sweet and grateful for what we have made for you, it melts my heart. Or chicken nuggets, fries, and mac and cheese? Yep you love that too when I let you have it. This Winter I will be buying you 4T clothing because all your clothes shrink in our house! Or you are growing so tall, but I don't like to think about that.<br />
<br />
The energy you bring into our home is amazing, and a little exhausting for this mama, I won't lie. My favorite game to play at the end of the day is the running game. I tell you to run around in a circle 100 times and you just run and run until you get dizzy and fall down in a fit of laughter. You'll do acrobatics, ballet, and yoga on demand and still have energy at the end of it all. This past month you've learned that you love our slide out back (it was always a little scary for you before) and if the weather isn't too overwhelming (it's been a very hot Summer!) I will sit outside with you while you slide down the slide over and over and over again. It makes me smile. <br />
<br />
Of course not every moment is as picture perfect as I would like to remember it. You have opinions, and will, and you are every bit as stubborn and your daddy and I put together. You never miss a word we say but if it isn't to your interest you simply choose not to listen. I get so frustrated asking you to NOT do the same things every single day and it doesn't matter how many times you might get in trouble for something, if you like doing it you will continue to do it.<br />
<br />
Time is nothing to you, everything moves at your own very slow distracted pace. And if I want you to go somewhere or do something you don't really want to do it's amazing how many things you can come up with that you need to tell me, "mama MAMA I need to tell you something........" then you dart your eyes around thinking very hard about what it is, sometimes just repeating the first line over and over until you come up with something good. And when you leave the house without me, or daddy puts you to bed, you have several minutes worth of instructions to give as you head out the door or up the stairs, continuously coming back to tell me just one more thing. Daddy says it's my fault, I do the same thing when I have to leave you. I still miss you every minute you are away, even if you are naughty and exhausting. <br />
<br />
So, you see, my little bug bug.....I love you so very much, even if I am not the perfect mama all the time. I kiss your hands when you sleep and savor the sound of your breath. I love your warmth next to me when we nap together, I hope that doesn't stop anytime soon. There may be a new baby in the house but YOU will always be my baby, my very first baby, that made me a mama and taught me what never ending, limitless, love was. I can't wait to watch you on this new journey.<br />
<br />
Love always, <br />MamaMelissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16430304557211862373noreply@blogger.com0