Ways to Improve Sexiness

After being at work for a couple hours this morning I made my way to the ladies room so I could throw on some make-up for the day. One might think that this was a step you take BEFORE getting to work but no not in my world. Coming prepared is what I call overrated. I had a great conversation with myself while standing in front of the mirror, it went something like this. "Awesome. You look really awesome. I'm not sure what you call this....thing....you've got going on with your hair but 80's Madonna would be really proud. Did I read somewhere that dark eye bags are all the rage in Europe? If so I'm in the wrong damn country. Might be a good idea to skip lunch...hmmmm actually on second thought it might be a good idea to skip all the creamer in my coffee. Wait, did I just say that? Awesome, never gonna happen." You get the idea. I looked really hot. And skinny.

Well, maybe it was the cold (what CAN'T I blame on shitty weather in Utah?) or maybe it was the fact that I felt like complete shit all night and all morning but I noticed after a few minutes that I only had one earring on. Yep. Just one. Can I say awesome just one more time? Awesome! I half expected to find that my shirt was on inside out but luckily it was that style where it sort of looks inside out normally so I got it right.

Currently I'm resisting the urge to go out and eat a double bacon cheeseburger with extra mayo. Maybe I could just do a bun with mayo? Yeah, not the same.