Drinking Around for No Reason

The funniest caption blog ever!

In other news: I'm alone this weekend and plan to celebrate** by consuming enough Tequila to give me a hangover Sunday morning, which will be A LOT of Tequila. Below I've created a list of all the reasons I am drinking this weekend. Making a list is the only good way to stay productive and I would hate to be an un-productive drunk! Each item is punctuated with an exclamation mark because it is A)awesome! & B)Annoying to a lot of people that I probably don't like! (kind of like when I use CAPS all the time, YES!) Side notes are in parenthesis though I wish I could insert some sort of roll over note pop out...hmmmm....

♥ Obama won!
♥ My dad will condone it, which makes it ok, because he said this when I asked what he was doing this weekend, "drinking heavily. woo hoo"!
♥ I'm celebrating being the best person I know at drinking Tequila!
♥ I have a lot of other things I should be doing I have nothing better to do!
♥ I made it through the week!
♥ It's my un-birthday!
♥ Celebrating not being pregnant, impressive!
♥ Celebrating my friends not being pregnant! (one shot for every friend who is baby free...word.)
♥ Your mom!
* ♥ I drank responsibly like TWO TIMES this week. Really impressive!
♥ I still don't have a second job! (this item shouldn't have an exclamation mark because it is really stressing me out but I made a commitment and dammit if I won't follow through)
♥ Just because! (this is the most important reason really. If you can't drink "just because" then what's the point?! Perhaps I should change my blog to "Drinking Around for No Reason". That makes me laugh)

Hence ends my attempt to avoid Tequila related posts. For today anyway. Talking about one earring just doesn't cut it.

*As great as it is to explore the life of a responsible, social drinker it just isn't me and one has to be true to their heart. No? I KID! I love being responsible.......er

**Not to celebrate being alone....celebrate the weekend.

Ways to Improve Sexiness

After being at work for a couple hours this morning I made my way to the ladies room so I could throw on some make-up for the day. One might think that this was a step you take BEFORE getting to work but no not in my world. Coming prepared is what I call overrated. I had a great conversation with myself while standing in front of the mirror, it went something like this. "Awesome. You look really awesome. I'm not sure what you call this....thing....you've got going on with your hair but 80's Madonna would be really proud. Did I read somewhere that dark eye bags are all the rage in Europe? If so I'm in the wrong damn country. Might be a good idea to skip lunch...hmmmm actually on second thought it might be a good idea to skip all the creamer in my coffee. Wait, did I just say that? Awesome, never gonna happen." You get the idea. I looked really hot. And skinny.

Well, maybe it was the cold (what CAN'T I blame on shitty weather in Utah?) or maybe it was the fact that I felt like complete shit all night and all morning but I noticed after a few minutes that I only had one earring on. Yep. Just one. Can I say awesome just one more time? Awesome! I half expected to find that my shirt was on inside out but luckily it was that style where it sort of looks inside out normally so I got it right.

Currently I'm resisting the urge to go out and eat a double bacon cheeseburger with extra mayo. Maybe I could just do a bun with mayo? Yeah, not the same.

Ease Back Brother

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that's how I feel today. I'm laughing because of many things most of which are related to the events of last night (and corresponding drama on the internets today).

I'm remembering the conversation I had with my roommate's boyfriend about how Obama would surely get the majority of the popular votes but IF he won the electoral votes it was sure to be a close call HAHAHAHA. I'm laughing because all the LDS women on my Facebook page have made comments about how bad the next 4 years are going to be (WHERE have you been the past 8 years???) and that they are sad and worried about our country HAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm laughing because today at work a co-worker ordered lunch from a shitty restaraunt in honor of Obama's win and said if "anyone didn't like it to blame Pres. Bush" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm laughing because I commented to a good friend whom I've known for many many years that I was grateful to him for standing with unwavering support of Obama despite what those around him said about it and one of his acquaintances called me ignorant because of it HAHAHAHAHAHA. And I'm also laughing because his accusation infuriated me so much that I started to shake HAHAHAHAHA. I'm laughing at every single person who is saying Obama is God's punishment to the world for killing babies and wanting to allow same sex marriage HAHAHAHAHAHA. Only Jesus himself can save us now! We will burn alive if we allow equal rights!

Oh, and I'm laughing because I'm truly such an ornery ass hole this week that I've nothing but bitch and moan (about things that truly do NOT matter) to someone who has been nothing but an absolute peach to me. Not a laugh because I think it's funny, though who doesn't laugh at some poor man who has to put up with an ornery ass PMSing woman, but because I KNOW it's pretty pathetic.....consider it more of a maniacal laughter.

Other things that make me laugh:

♥ Being told I need to replace my tires. Something about being bald
♥ Our power bill
♥ Southpark
♥ Dreams about foxes that can make popcorn
♥ Trick questions
♥ Ex's
♥ Co-workers
♥ Quitting second jobs
♥ My i-tunes play list when it will only play the songs I hate
♥ Not responding to emails
♥ Republicans
♥ Crying
♥ Laughing gas
♥ Eating peanut butter off of nipples

I'm sure there are more so this list is subject to continuous update. If you have anything that I've missed please comment.

NEW! A Bunch of Stuff!!!

Yeah you read it correctly! There is a bunch of NEW stuff I'm going to write about!!! It's super exciting! It will require a lot of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It may also require a seat belt (not provided) which will additionally require a signed liability statement by you, the reader, releasing Running Around for No Reason of any and all liability to injuries you may sustain while reading this blog. Please comment with your full name (including any aliases...just for the fun of it), bank account number (also for the fun of it?), & the email address of anyone you would like me to send SPAM to (totally serious). To see the Terms & Conditions go to this website and simply insert any line that is related to sky diving with something blog related.

Great!!!! Let's get started. Click Me!

I know! I'm sorry! But this blog is about me, first and foremost, and I had to see that today so therefore you must suffer as well. I hope it haunts your nightmares.

I don't want to give all my super NEW bunch of stuff away all in one blog but I will tell you that none of it is related to Tequila. *sigh* I know, I'm sorry. Due to a concerned friend who shall remain nameless (it's for your own good otherwise the blog masses will tar and feather your inbox because my Tequila posts are in high demand) I've decided to see what I can come up with that isn't joking about alcohol abuse; specifically my own, if not a bit over exaggerated, alcohol abuse . I explained to said person that blogging about drinking is like making movies about sex...it sells....but not to be catagorized amongst alcoholics I'm making an already weak attempt at change.

I suppose I could just start blogging about sex and watching movies about alcohol? Great idea!

Dear readers. Sex is awesome. Have some. Use protection. It should protect you except in cases of V@&in@ Dentata. That's right, I said it. Also, don't eat Cauliflower because it looks like genital warts. Thanks for reading!!!

*Dedicated to Mr. Angry Bears who I'm sure can appreciate a blog full of tasteful humor.

Usage Problem

I went to this really awesome bar in Spanish Fork (I know right!!!) and I wonder why Orem can't have a nice bar like that. They have pints of PBR for $1.00 Monday-Wednesday and right now they have Wasatch Pumpkin Ale on tap. Yum! Last year someone I know *ahem* Emilix *ahem* wasn't a huge fan of it (it being Pumpkin Ale)....but mayhap she has changed her mind and would like to join a group of us down there this coming Tuesday. Not sure she wants to go anywhere with me after this last weekend (do we really look like sisters? awesome ha)...I'm an obnoxious drunk when I'm upset APPARENTLY...but she should seriously consider it. I'll be so much better this time.

Eye Candy

I was browsing his highness, Teh World Wide Webs, and I stopped by my favorite "I'll never own anything from you but I love you anyway" Etsy shop when a vision stopped me in my clicking tracks....behold (you have to click on the link to do the beholding). Seriously...I've never wanted something so much in my entire whole lifetime! ARGHAGHADKLFJGOIJDF It is meant to be and I MUST have it. It's likely I can justify buying it for Christmas (someone has to buy me something and, since I'm officially going to be the most single this year that I've ever been since right after my divorce, so it is going to have to be myself) it's just a matter of waiting and clicking to make sure it doesn't go anywhere. I really love the design on it, honestly I covet all of her work, but as soon as I saw the name I knew it was made just for me.

*sigh* *swoon*

*Edit: I said entire whole lifetime...which is backasswards from how I intended it, but on second thought I prefer it that way so it stays.......

One Liner

Message from mom: "Missing you!"

I wish that she didn't have ulcers because that means she can't drink with me!

Speaking of drinks...I came to the conclusion that the reason things are so hard to cope with this week is due to lack of Tequila. Tequila really asks for company and because I haven't been out much in the last couple of weeks I just haven't had it around me. Well, tonight that will change. I should have known that the cheer me up I needed came in the form of a delicious gold liquid! I realize that all of my ramblings about alcoholic substances make me seem a little bit of an, oh I don't know, ALCOHOLIC but I promise that I'm not. I just drink it on a regular basis to make my problems go away.....hmmmm....probably shouldn't have said that.

To plead my case I will now list all the other things I do on a regular basis to make myself feel better. In no particular order:

♥ Eat peanut butter in bed
♥ Eat ice cream from the carton (sometimes in, but not limited to, my bed)
♥ Cry excessively
♥ Yell the fuck word at old people driving down the road really slowly
♥ Listen to Michael Bolton love songs
♥ Write sob worthy Tweets and then erase them*
♥ Watch re-runs of Ace of Cakes(and crush on Geof because A)I like men with that name and B) I think he's sexy in that goofy sort of way. Yum to cakes and sexy/goofy men)
♥ NOT wear my seat belt (take that! Ooooo such a rebel)


NONE of these things are good for me but do you see people urging me to attend an "I love Michael Bolton when I'm depressed" support group? No, no you don't. And you know what, I'm WAY less ashamed of drinking Tequila (and not even to excess) than I am of admitting my taste in sob induced tunes. That's right, I said it! I think if Jesus was standing right next to me on these particularly bad nights he'd raise a glass too....then again, I suppose saying things like this is the reason my dad's religious fanatic sister thinks I'm going to hell. Dude, Jesus is for lovers! Michael Bolton is too, so take that. They're my posse, yo.

*If you don't know what a Tweet is then get thee to Twitter!!!

I think this is all for today. I still want the week to end but at least I have something to look forward to; Friday night my darling niece will be coming to have a sleepover with me! We'll be doing dinner, either making it together or going out to a fancy restaurant, and will likely end up watching my original Care Bear DVD episodes with some popcorn. I wish I could bring my nephew too but he's a bit too wild for girls night.