Sick & Tired of being Sick & Tired

2011....the year of The Sickness. That's what it feels like anyway. I had a cold a couple of weeks ago that was followed by a persistent cough that has now turned into a full blown flu. Misery. 

I'm trying to focus on the positive throughout this and here is what I came up with. So far I've lost 2 pounds from not being able to eat anything. That puts me 1 pound away from 20 pounds lost since November and 40 pounds lost since I had the baby. I know, 18 months to lose 40 pounds and I still have 20 (minimum) to go, not very impressive. Also, it snowed over 6 inches at my home here in Utah (in April!!!!!) on Saturday night but being so sick I can't get out of bed makes it a lot less frustrating to be stuck inside the house. Also, I cut my hair. Short. Not washing short, freshly cut, and styled by a professional, hair for 3 days is a lot less of a greasy mess than my old long doo. Along those same lines, washing and drying short, low maintenance hair is so much easier than long hair, especially when standing up makes you want to vomit.

Yes that is me in my bathrobe, in a bathroom, taking a mirror picture. Also, I'm not trying to be sexy or MySpace picturey, smiling just doesn't feel at all natural when you are A) Taking pictures of yourself in a mirror for no reason & B) feeling like death. Kudos to me for pulling my shit together for long enough this afternoon to shower, dry my hair, AND brush my teeth.

Poor poor Mad. She was so bored today. I promised her, tonight as we snuggled in my bed, that I would feel better in the morning. I really hope mama doesn't look like a liar and really does feel better!

Sunny Days

This week we played in the sun. What glorious moments they were. Today Mad has an outrageous ear infection that gives cause to scream every time I lay her down for a diaper change (currently trying to figure out how to change a diaper with her standing up) and, oh, just about any other moment that things don't go exactly her way. She scrunches up her little nose, pokes her lips out, puffs her cheeks, furrows her brow and lets out several head splitting screams. This cannot be good for her ears but she continues to do so at every available moment.


Whenever I walk into my house I can smell sour water. Kind of like laundry gone bad except I don't have any of that. It's probably the sink, it was leaking in the base and instead of fixing the leak we just stopped using that side of the sink, but it's driving me nuts trying to figure out how to get it to go away. When there is a smell I dislike I break out the Scentsy and then bleach all the surfaces I can get my hands on. I guess this means I have to find the energy to do this today. If you recall my paragraph from above you understand that this might be difficult. I haven't had my bed to myself all week and my little darling isn't exactly a middle of the bed sleeper. No, she prefers to sleep on my head. Gives new meaning to a headache.

I've learned this week that if I only have a few dollars in my pocket and I'm out to grab lunch.....I'd rather feed the baby and get coffee for myself. Coffee is so much more productive than food in my belly. Mad has learned that she likes screaming at me, sitting in baskets, pushing her stroller outside, and just being outside in general. When we are mid diaper change slash scream fest I just ask her if she wants to go play outside or walk to the park. That shuts her up (sound harsh, but boy is it true!). Girl loves her some sunshine. Who can blame her?

The bleach is calling my name. Also, my daughter has filled up every container with every item she could round up so I guess nap time and clutter clean up is also on my morning itinerary.

To Eat or Not to Eat....

I'm puttering around my quiet, post bedtime, house trying to get things done (while not actually working too hard) and I swear that all the sweets and treats in the house are calling my name. Whispering sweet nothings in my ear as I organize groceries in the refrigerator, taunting me with their bubbles and toppings of whipped cream or raspberries as I try to fold my laundry, begging me to stop washing those dishes and sit down with just one cup/slice/piece/bit before I nod off to sleep with my little Baby Bear snuggled in beside me. Curse you holiday that is an excuse to buy things that don't belong in this chubby household!

The Bear, admittedly loathing of such a ridiculous a holiday as Valentines Day, brought home Godiva Chocolate Truffles, Raspberry Almond Torte, Expensive Red Wines, among other goodies and they are all half eaten waiting for me to give in and indulge for the second night in a row. Ridiculous! I should just throw it all out, but the sugar addict in me just cannot let go!

{Mad Mads in her Valentines outfit...well before Valentines Day since we were sick and unable to move on Monday. She's sweeter than any treat!!!}

I'm trying to keep my hands busy with projects but my brain is going a million miles an hour and I can't even focus on getting a single task accomplished. I don't blame this lack of focus, entirely, on the sugar cravings. It's been a really long week. A long month. A long year in fact (is it a bad sign if I'm saying this at the beginning of month 2?), and I am tending to avoid the things that simply must be done. Today, instead of putting laundry away (at least 3 loads waiting on the couch for my undivided attention) I got down and dirty with my spray paints and have almost finished up a little project in the kitchen and one in the laundry room. It takes so much longer during these cold, dirty, months so now, when I am literally a few sprays away from being done I find myself wandering to other jobs. My non perishable groceries are sitting quietly on the living room rug waiting for me to assign them a home. Instead, I am blogging. About all these things I should be doing, but am not, because I can't stop my mind from wanting to eat and then relax.

My Mad and I are slowly recovering from a terrible illness that has plagued our home for an entire week now. She is coughing constantly and her nose is one big scab from the constant flow of snot I try to keep from dripping into her mouth, I have a throat that is swollen, but not enough to keep me from enjoying the taste of aforementioned foods. We both are tired and cranky and ready to feel 100% again. House tending isn't really what I want to be doing tonight but I know when I wake in the morning I'll be even crankier if I have to deal with sick Baby and dirty home. The incredible, and frustrating, fact is that The Bear and I LITERALLY scrubbed this place from top to bottom over the weekend while the sun was shining and we had the energy. It smelled like Pledge and freshly washed floors. Now it looks just the way it always seems to, cluttered and in need of my attention.

{My kitchen project, waiting for colored hooks to screw into the bottom as key holders. Previously it was black, one of those multi-purpose boards from Target.}

Worried Rambling

Am I allowed to say that it has been a long week when we're only on Monday? Time change just threw the whole routine through a big fiery loop and it feels like the last two days have been an eternity.

On Sunday (an appropriate day for eternity to begin, no?) Mr. Bear and I were restless, like whoa, and itching to get out of the house, by noon, or one according to our brains/bodies. We piled our Angrybear selves into the car and took Baby Bear to the aquarium. I've been meaning to invite my girlfriends and their kiddos to go with us on a boring cold day but this day was desperate for entertainment. As it turns out it was better just the three of us went because Mad, who I was sure would looooove the whole thing, was more than a little afraid at a lot of the big fish (and penguins!). Also, she was petrified of the big plastic frog. Who would have thought my fearless munchkin would flip out over a cute frog?! But, she really like the tanks with tiny, bright, fish and frogs so we had some white knuckled, clingy, fun.

This morning we woke to cloudy skies that threatened rain. After a very long night, in a week of many many long nights (molars), I bumbled through the morning routine before naps and then a trip to the craft store. It was snowy/rainy and so so cold. Welcome Winter.

After book time I noticed a voicemail from my sister....my niece, the one that Mads loves to hug and kiss on, has strep throat. My stomach felt sick (still does). First of all, my poor poor niecey. Up all night crying, for days, and in so much icky pain. Second of all, we were just with her the night before. Both Mad and I loved on her. The Bear travels this week, I can not be home alone with a strep throat baby, or a strep throat me.

During bath time I asked The Bear to put some lavender drops in to help calm Mad down, hopefully, so we could get a night of good sleep. When we pulled her out her legs and bum we covered in huge raised spots and were burning to the touch. Mama freak out! We assume he put too much oil in the water (we've used this same oil her entire life with no issues) and she had a reaction. She was oblivious so we let her play on our bed without clothes so we could keep an eye on her. Sooner than later they faded away and off to bed she went.

Now I'm just sitting up wondering if she might be getting sick and hoping her jammies didn't irritate her legs, even though the spots were all gone. So yes, a long long mama day. My heart races at the thought of my little Bear going through any pain at all. She is never sick, has only had 2 or 3 colds her entire life, so I'm not sure how to handle any problems. I continually panic at the thought of waking in the night to a very high fever. So, even if she sleeps tonight, which I DOUBT she will, I have a feeling I won't be doing much of it either way. Who knew being the mama could be so hard (everyone, I'm pretty sure).

Wordless Wednesday - Sick Baby Bear

Jumping on the bandwagon.

You Give Me, Something

Last week was my final week at the office before Alien arrives. This means I don't technically have to work anymore....though I spent most of the afternoon today checking up on stuff. MUST.LET.GO.

This ALSO means that I get to wear sweats EVERYDAY for the next week if I wish. And I do wish. Mr. Bear found a pair of HUGE sweats that he gave to me last week. I wear them every single day, from the moment I get off of work until the next morning, and I love them. Love.Them. I swear by pajamas. They may not make me feel look sexy but damn if they don't make me feel good.

Walking in the house at the end of the day, knowing I get to take my jeans off....and EVEN MY BRA IF I WANT TO!.....is seriously the best feeling. There is no greater reward for this pregnant hippo woman. The entire 5 minute climb up our 3 flights of stairs I just focus on the step ahead and remind myself that if I survive (and that is one big IF) I will get to take my clothes off. Aside: I'm sure Mr. Bear wishes I would continue to feel this way once I don't have a huge belly. But now I don't have to walk up the stairs to treat myself to my sweats! It's awesome.

The whole "no work" thing would be much more enjoyable if I wasn't getting sick. Yep. Thanks to some DB (read: DOUCHE BAG!) at the office who got Mr. Bear sick, I am now coughing and suffering a headache. I know that an achy body and sniffles are on the way, probably by this evening. I really REALLY do not want to be coughing during labor. I think the whole giving birth thing looks awful enough without adding a serious cough to the mix.

On the up side, perhaps I can just cough her out.....I know The Bear would think that was totally awesome.