Day of Summer

Summer is doing all the wonderful things to my life that I had hoped it would through those rough, and never ending, Winter months. The wait? It was so worth it! We play in the little blow up pool, weed our mini vegetable garden, swing, swing, and swing some more on our finally completed swing set. It's amazing. Mad and I have hot, crabby, tired days but more often, as she adjusts to the heat of Summer and learns that drinking endless cups of water helps, we have hot, fabulous, happy, days.

We gave Mad her first hair cut.

We took Mad to the Utah Hogle Zoo.

 

We clean and we nap. We laugh and we play. It's beautiful really. Already I find myself counting the days left of Summer. I wonder to myself how long the warm weather will stick around. Will we get an extra few weeks of shorts and sunshine? The year Mad was born it went from HOT to COLD so quickly. Before I knew it we were bundled up with the heater blasting and not one NOT ONE pair of adorable baby shorts were worn. Tragic really. I'm trying to focus on the now. To enjoy the time in the sun we have while it is here but it is so easy to get distracted. I want to spend every night out in the yard swinging and chasing around in the yard. That's my goal. Now. Unofficially. Maybe it's just a few minutes before bed or eating outside together as a family before the wind and rain pick up (on hot but rainy days) but I will make sure when the cold does come we are filled with the warmth of Summer for as long as possible. Now I'm off to make some simple syrup so I can have a mojito while I enjoy each evening!

Enjoying This Moment

I spent the last 24 hours in the hell that is (probably) food poisoning or a 24 hour flu. I haven't thrown up that much since I was a kid. Hell. Seriously. Thanks to my sweet Mr. Bear I have a clean house and today I am relaxing and totally enjoying this.....

In lieu of any real sort of post for the past week (making up for it after the fact?) I thought I'd send you all over to one of my regular reads to a post about parenting. Somewhat related to the "clean house" statement I just made. Normally I really like Cjane's ideas, for as different as we may see the world (she also happens to be related to one of my absolute most favorite college teachers so that gives her a leg up in my book), but this particular post I somewhat disagree with.

 Particularly the first and last quotes she mentioned.....for as much as I try to get things done around my home I value time spent with my daughter a lot more than I value time spent scrubbing kitchen counters or having an immaculate garden. A clean house is a happy house, YES, but I will clean my house every day, (practically) for the rest of my life, and I only have a few years where my baby will want me to color alongside her all morning long. Plus, even for someone like me who has a child that wants to be attended to almost constantly, there are plenty of hours where I am hands free. Morning play (when she doesn't seem to notice her solitude), naps, kitchen cleaning while she eats (sssssllllloooooowwwwwly!), and bed time. If I WANT to get it all I can, maybe not as perfectly as I would always like, but, clean enough. Usually I'm the one holding myself back (lazy much?). Anyway, maybe it's an excuse to get out of constant chores but I know very few women (none actually, but I'm sure they are out there), with all their children grown and gone, that don't wish they would have put the cleaning aside to really enjoy their babies more often. I don't want to have that regret.

Avoiding

Avoiding. Lately that's all I've been doing.

Like now. I'm justifying sitting at the computer during nap time because :
♥ The kitchen is (mostly) clean
♥ I've already decided against washing my hair today (should I have kept that a secret? Probably not because if you see me out in public you'll be able to tell by looking at my rat's nest!)
♥ I made the bed once this week and that is enough
♥  I just don't feel all that pressed to do anything above and beyond today

The reality is :

♥ I need to clean up my morning coffee mess (french press, while delicious beyond measure, does not make itself nor does it tidy up on it's own when I am done)
♥ I am always happier with a made bed, plus I'm less likely to get BACK IN bed if it looks pretty ♥ Laundry is, as always, piled up waiting to be attended to
♥ and basically there a millions of things I've been avoiding this week that need to be done

The reason almost all my blogging references cleaning, or not cleaning, is because when that is NOT what I want to be doing I generally end up here. Hoping I'll convince myself to do what needs to be done.

I don't consider myself a lazy person but, oh boy, have I been lazy lately! It started with a cold that last way too long. Now I've been feeling really un-rested and sore every morning (I can't find a good sleep position!) which makes me drag all morning. Once afternoon hits Miss Mad wants nothing more than for me to hold her or sit quietly and watch her do what she does (make messes). I know I sound like a broken record, I'm sorry! I want sun and more energy, is that too much to ask???

Truthfully I think it all really does have to do with the cold (weather not sickness, but that too I guess). It gets me down when the end of April is just around the corner and I am stuck inside with grey skies staring at me through the windows. Mad begs to play outside every time she passes the back door. My gardens are overrun with weeds that I ignored last fall when it started to get out of control. My body aches with lack of exercise (walks to the park anyone?).

So, I've been doing you all a favor by not writing more often. If I did it would all read exactly like the last dozen posts. I'll be better! Don't leave ok? I promise to be more interesting. In fact, The Bear and I have a delightful trip planned to (somewhere) in California to drink wine and be merry. I won't blog, yet, about how much I know I'll miss my Baby Bear and how I'm a little scared that she'll be sad without me. Because, and this is me not blogging about missing her, she and I have been really attached lately. She's my little buddy. See?

A Chance to Change?

Lately I've been wondering a lot about my thoughts and ideas on parenthood and how, if I get the opportunity to do it again from the very beginning, I would do it differently (I am so so so NOT pregnant, not for a while I hope, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it).

First of all I would find a fairy to grant me three wishes and every single one of them would be that The Bear and I would agree on all parenting issues. That would basically have solved ALL of our contention the past 2 years of our lives together. I hate knowing that if we disagree one person is going to feel that they "lost" and perhaps their parenting opinions don't matter as much. Mostly that would be The Bear. He knows it and I know it. I don't love that it is that way but I'm not foolish enough to deny it. Somewhere in my heart I believe that if we both had supported* each other a little more the difficult months would have been easier to move through. I wouldn't have felt like I was constantly searching for a way that we both agreed with and just stuck to the same thing from day 1. There is no going back but I hope if we do it again some day there will be less debate on how and what to do and more action. Consistent and calm action.

Secondly, and this is a big one, I would stop WONDERING, out loud mostly, how to make my child do what I wanted and expected. The wondering led to discussions, which led to disagreement, which led to attempts at other ways, which led to frustration, which led to more disagreement, and ultimately led us back to the same thing I was doing in the first place. If I just did what my heart told me was right, without the tears (my own) because things weren't perfect and complaints of exhaustion and frustration, we would have moved through with less contention and those long months wouldn't  have dragged on and on. I hate recalling all the conversations wherein I analyzed every little thing she did trying to figure out the best way to parent her (sleep, let's be honest, I've stressed about sleep this.entire.time). I would have been so much happier if I just stopped talking about it. In the end I am who I am and I can no sooner let her cry for hours on end when she just wants me close to her than The Bear can stop eating cake pops from Starbucks. It's part of who we all are...compulsive cake pop eating and all.

Sleeping with all of her things

Thirdly? Stop trying to control everything. I'm a control freak when it comes to my beloved daughter, I can't deny this even though I feel a little ashamed from time to time. Next time around I think it would ease a lot of that new baby pressure if I didn't freak out quite so much. Chances are The Bear is not going to snap her neck when he pulls her out of her bed for a diaper change but according to me it's a miracle Mad survived the first 6 months when he was in charge of her care. I won't stop missing my babies when I am away from them for even a moment, I won't stop sending huge lists of "how to's" when they go to Grammy (my mom) or Manna's (his mom) house, I won't stop describing every detail of how I get them to sleep, I won't stop loving them with every inch of my being....but I really hope that I can leave The Bear with our new baby without agonizing over the fact that he doesn't do things exactly the way that I do. Mad is proof that he did something right (a lot of things) because never has a little girl loved her father more than my Mad loves her daddy. He is the first person she looks for in the morning and business trips are getting so difficult now that she spends half her days asking "where he is?" until the moment he walks through the door. I love that because I love him so much too, so I totally get it. We both like shoes, shopping bags full of new stuff, and an AngryBear. Twinners!

But....if I didn't change a thing? Well, I have to think that despite all my (many) flaws I must have done something right. Because I made this (with a little help ;) and I think she is pretty.damn.amazing.

Playing in her hut. She loves this thing.

*The fact is, The Bear was so supportive of me and my choices, even when they didn't line up AT ALL with how he thought things should be done or what he was used to in his family. He might not always understand what I do, or why I do it, but he will always defend me. I really love that about him and it is just one more reason why I am so lucky to have him. I was the one who struggled to support any way of doing things that wasn't MY way. So, I fail, I'm working on it. I promise.

Her Mother's Daughter

My girl is so like her daddy. If you know him then the answer to the question of why I call him my AngryBear is obvious. She can furrow her brow with the best of them and as far as squirrelyness goes she has him matched. They are peas in a pod, those two.

But the beautiful thing about parenthood is finding all the little things that are just.like.you.

New shoes make any day sunny

Gold shoes; a must for my shoe lover

Madeleine's for my Madeleine

We both love the same man!

  

Sunny Days

This week we played in the sun. What glorious moments they were. Today Mad has an outrageous ear infection that gives cause to scream every time I lay her down for a diaper change (currently trying to figure out how to change a diaper with her standing up) and, oh, just about any other moment that things don't go exactly her way. She scrunches up her little nose, pokes her lips out, puffs her cheeks, furrows her brow and lets out several head splitting screams. This cannot be good for her ears but she continues to do so at every available moment.


Whenever I walk into my house I can smell sour water. Kind of like laundry gone bad except I don't have any of that. It's probably the sink, it was leaking in the base and instead of fixing the leak we just stopped using that side of the sink, but it's driving me nuts trying to figure out how to get it to go away. When there is a smell I dislike I break out the Scentsy and then bleach all the surfaces I can get my hands on. I guess this means I have to find the energy to do this today. If you recall my paragraph from above you understand that this might be difficult. I haven't had my bed to myself all week and my little darling isn't exactly a middle of the bed sleeper. No, she prefers to sleep on my head. Gives new meaning to a headache.

I've learned this week that if I only have a few dollars in my pocket and I'm out to grab lunch.....I'd rather feed the baby and get coffee for myself. Coffee is so much more productive than food in my belly. Mad has learned that she likes screaming at me, sitting in baskets, pushing her stroller outside, and just being outside in general. When we are mid diaper change slash scream fest I just ask her if she wants to go play outside or walk to the park. That shuts her up (sound harsh, but boy is it true!). Girl loves her some sunshine. Who can blame her?

The bleach is calling my name. Also, my daughter has filled up every container with every item she could round up so I guess nap time and clutter clean up is also on my morning itinerary.

Rock-A-Bye

It's been a busy week already for my little Baby Bear and I what with rainy day dance parties, endless snack times, refusing naps and all of that. Tonight, just a short while after I put my tuckered out little one to bed, she woke crying and needing her mama. I rocked her and rocked her in our big wood rocking chair, stroking her soft (perhaps just a little tuna and cheese dinner scented) hair and feeling her sweet baby fingers play with my necklace. Each time I shifted my weight she buried herself deeper into my body, pressing herself closer to me, and we became one as we rocked and rocked. Her long legs wrapped around me, each breath tickled my skin, her fingers doing a sleep dance across my chest and arms. I am grateful in this moment for my soft spacious body to serve as her temporary resting place.

Motherhood? It is heaven. Absolute in every way. The hard minutes of the day just slip away while we rock and all I can remember is that very moment. Did I complain earlier about toys filling every inch of my home? No possible because right now there is an angel in my arms who spreads light and love with her every step.
When the time came for that baby of mine to get back into her own warm and cozy bed she cried to hear my voice whispering to her that I was there and would always protect her. "Mama's here, Mama's here," I sing to her and she curls up, long skinny legs tucked underneath her body, arms cradling her fuzzy pillow, blankie tucked into the soft skin of her neck. I sneak out quietly, off to do this and that around the house, but my mind keeps wandering back to my warm sleeping baby.

{This little finger? It's her binky finger. She flicks it even in her sleep.}

I want to crawl in that little bed with her, whisper in her ear while she sleeps, tell her that I love her more than even seemed possible those years before she was mine. I want to promise her that I don't mind when she wakes every night and I think she is perfect just the way she is. I want to promise her I will always be by her side when she needs me, no matter the reason, no matter the time. I want to kiss her round, pink, cheeks over and over so the feel of them is forever on my lips. I want to remember this feeling all the time so I never take for granted our moments together.

*All sleeping images are from the weeks we spent sick as sick can be in Mama's bed. The last picture? Well, that is just the face I get to see every day.

Pitter Patter

There is something comforting about listening to the dishwasher, with my slippers on, hair pulled back, and rain falling quietly outside. There is no wind whipping around the windows, which is unusual for our house this time of year, no television bleeping away, no sounds of my toddler dumping baskets of toys out. It's thoroughly enjoyable for the moment. Soon Spring will be here. We will have gardening to do, Spring cleaning that, much like Winter cleaning, never seems to end, new toys to play with, walks to go on, pools to visit, & parks to play at. But, today, it is just a quiet rainy day....and right now it is asking for a cup of hot coffee. I think I will indulge, thank you very much.

Mad and I on Mother's Day last year. Spring at it's finest.

A Night On the Town

Last night The Bear and I went out to dinner with some friends, one of our many childless couple friends. I'm sure it must get annoying listening to me talk about buying diapers, breastfeeding (which The Bear informed me she was too big for, HA!) a toddler, sleeping....or lack of it, eating, bath time, how the hell do we brush her teeth while she screams at us, and...you get the point. We're probably AWESOME to have at dinner!

I was trying my best to not talk about why the buy/sell/trade market of used cloth diapers is so exciting slash financially beneficial slash emotionally gratifying when you're really depressed and suffering from chronic headaches (that's what I tell The Bear anyway) but most of my stories end (and begin) with how funny slash cute slash smart slash destructive my Mad is. Can you blame me???

After several glasses of wine we started planning an evening out with some of their friends that were going to be visiting. "They are really cool," our dinner companions stated, and whew that's great, (right?) because no one likes to be stuck with a couple of duds, "they don't have kids". Ok, I know that the statement wasn't intended to read like I'm implying. Or was it? We were relaxed, having a good time, these friends don't have kids and don't really seem too interested in how awesome ours is (which, for the record is totally ok, I know not everyone is mad about Mad). So, for just a wine induced moment I felt sad. That I was UN-cool because I had a "kid".

The moment was quickly forgotten over panacotta and coffee after which The Bear and I drove home and fell fast asleep, a sleeping snoring dog nestled uncomfortably between us. In the morning I woke early, ready for my nursling to demand to join us, but she was not there. Instead she was safe and sound with her Gram and Poppy running wild and demanding everyone obey her. My sweet and bossy princess.

I realized in that moment that I was ok being un-cool if it meant that I got to wake every day with my little family just the way that it was. I wouldn't trade it for more nights out, more glasses of wine, more mornings to sleep in, more "cool" friends. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My life of diapers, constant snacks and meals, laundry, breastfeeding a toddler, laughs, snuggles, Yo Gabba Gabba, naps & pillow pets is cool to me. It is beyond what I ever imagined and I feel pretty amazing being a part of it all.

And, that's it. Today I am simply grateful for all that I have. My AngryBear. My Baby Bear. My extremely un-cool and beautiful life.

Here's to Hoping for NO Shadow

The month of January, especially these last couple of weeks, have been emotion filled times for the Bear home. We have been happiest just bundled up in bed together snuggling while we ignore the mess our little tornado makes. It's amazing how much of a wreck she can turn this house into in mere minutes. I mean, that is what we want to be doing and try to get as much of that in as possible. Unfortunately Monday-Friday ruins these plans with work, meals, laundry, dogs, etc. But we still ignore the mess as often as possible.

I confess that my mood and the constant headaches have led me to self medicate with diaper stalking. And, much to my bank accounts dismay, purchasing. A lot. I'll have to de-stash a bit to make room for newbies and prepare for anything I might have to buy this next week. *crie* This is a very emotional thing for me. The obsessive purchasing has gotten so bad that, had I any money left to spend, I would have started buying newborn diapers for a baby that is far FAR from being born. Seriously though, newborn everything is so smushy and cute. Please tell me there are other comfort shoppers out there reading this!?!

Lastly, I have a question. How many other babies out there are obsessed with Pillow Pets? I finally felt like Mad was old enough to keep hers in her bed. Usually when I check on her she is hugging it with her bum up in the air like the little stink bug that she is. She picked the turtle out, TWICE, all by herself, after ooohing and aaaahing over them every time we passed the kiosk at the mall. Generally I don't buy into hyped up items but these little loveys are worth it. She has slept so much better since I've put it in her bed.

Wordless Almost Wednesday

A Day in Diapers

On any given day this is how diapers, and outfits, morph as the hours tick by.

Morning means daddy does the first diaper change and so, because she sleeps in sposies (her bum is ultra sensitive to wetness and no other diaper can seem to keep it comfy dry through the night) and we have them around, her first couple of changes are into sposies. Sad face. I'm trying to wean us down to only one at night and cloth for every other change, even in the morning, but for now this is how it is. I just took one picture for 2 diapers because they are ugly. True story. Also note one missing sockie. She likes to pull them off in the night. Mornings are for jammies or nakedies.
Un-bleached prefold with snappi. Honestly, if I wasn't taking pictures it would have been this all day because we didn't leave the house. I'm in love with prefolds and don't know how I made it through the first year without them.
Film Noir Goodmama on the bum. One of my all time favs. Cushy cuteness. It should have a cover but I don't bother with them at home.
Carnival Goodmama ONE. We lost socks and shoes, the headband, and the skirt. Too.many.clothes.
End of the day pre-fold in a Thirsties cover, light purple. And Mad being adorably naughty trying to reach our cork bowl on the table. Babies standing on tip toes is the very.best. I'm amazed that the leggings lasted until pj time. That never happens.

The point of this? I love cloth. A lot. It makes my day way more interesting when I can actually look forward to a diaper change. Sometimes it's getting the perfect fit with a folded diaper. Sometimes it's seeing if I can make an outfit match every diaper change throughout the day. And basically her cuteness is magnified with a fluffy bottom. Regardless of the specific reasons Mads and I both love a cloth bum and if any of my friends or readers wants to make the switch or needs help please ask! It won't be long until you are wondering why you ever diapered with sposies (I still feel guilty about my night diaper confession)!




This was Mads as a newborn in her cloth. She looked so teeny tiny!

Basically.....

♥ my head hurts
♥ I'm tired
♥ I'm cold
♥ my teeth want to be brushed
♥ my head hurts
♥ shiz needs cleaning....like whoa
♥ laundry baskets!!! (like, I'm being attacked)
♥ messy refrigerator!!! (cue murder scene music)
♥ un-made bed!!! (blood on the bathroom floor)
♥ my head hurts (even more from the exclamations)
♥ the dog needs training....weeks ago
♥ I ate a cookie tonight
♥ more than one.
♥ I miss Mads when she sleeps

BUT....

♥ I have a soft pillow to put my aching head on to sleep
♥ our blankets are warm and cozy
♥ Sonicare!!! (like a welcome home sign at the airport exclamation)
♥ our pantry is full of over the counter pain killers
♥ when cleaned this shiz will look beautiful.....like, double whoa
♥ if I never clean it it's still pretty awesome
♥ laundry baskets are good for playing in with Mads when emptied (onto the floor)
♥ refrigerator full of food!!! (puppies being adorable exclamation)
♥ messy beds are still comfy
♥ headaches go away. almost always.
♥ my dog sleeps with/looks adorable with pillow pets. all on his own
♥ the more cookies you eat the less the calories count (?????right?????)
♥ Mad fell asleep in my bed and we snugged for a bit
♥ also, she looks like this.....

Look at me. Being all venty and positive in the same post. And have awesome punctuation skills that make tons of sense. All reasons why I read my own blog. I need to go eat some more cookies so I will hopefully have lost some weight in the morning.

By the way, if you're wondering, yes her tummy is exactly that sweet, her leg rolls beg to be pinched, she can accessorize her own hair thankyouverymuch so that's why it looks like I never do it. Cause I don't.

1-1-11

First of all...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! 2010 was amazing, I couldn't have asked for anything more in my life, so I don't have any hopes for 2011 being a "new" beginning or something more than what the last year of my life is for. I'm going to love this year just as much as the last, and just as much as the next, and the next. Although I do believe this year will be special in its own right and I'm really looking forward to it.

Now, as the Christmas hangover has finally subsided, I can talk about the holiday without wanting to cry/vomit/crawl under 1000 blankets and never come out.

It was pretty delightful. Mad Mads was a bit overwhelmed but loved opening and playing with her gifts, even if it took a couple of days to get them all open. A kitchen, baby dolls and a stroller, a complete set of the Disney Fairies (from the new Tinkerbell) in large and small sizes (thanks to daddy!), and, my personal favorite, a doll with a sling.


She wears the sling everywhere while doing everything. She slings and pushes her grocery cart. She slings and "cooks" up meals in her kitchen. She slings and pushes two other dolls in the stroller with her puppy in a purse on the handle. Pretty impressive mama I must say.



My one gripe is that the sweet sling doll came with a bottle. I know it shouldn't bother me but I just wonder when this world will see that we should stop training our children that babies are fed with bottles. As if it's so absurd to feed them any other way. Some mamas use bottles and so they should be able to buy bottles for their babies to play with....separately. There is nothing offensive in that. I don't need a special breastfeeding baby doll, I just wish they would let the children, and parents, decide what type of feeding accessories they play with. Anyway, tangent over.

As far as my spoiled self goes, I was spoiled. The Bear is all things sweet and thoughtful, and yes I think it's romantic to spend 20 minutes with a sales lady to pick out the perfect can opener. Because that is the kind of thing I appreciate. Honestly he could have given me a lump of coal and I would still have the greatest gift in the world from him. Something that I get to enjoy anew every.single.morning. My Mads. And the gift of mothering her all day, every day.

I guess among other resolutions I would like to make, because it feels good to set goals, especially when I am setting goals that I intend on following through with, is to enjoy my mothering life more. To feel less frustration on hectic days. To laugh instead of scold when she does the many naughty things that she does. I love her, and I love my life. I don't regret anything in my past and I don't want to wake up tomorrow and regret not enjoying and appreciating my every moment with her. I want to be better for her, so she can learn and love the mother that I am. The way that I love my own mother and try my best to emulate her in all the mothering that I do. Ok, emotional tangent over!




I'm going to post some additional pictures from Christmas, like the one of Mads delightfully eating the pear I buried at the bottom of her stocking (our official stocking tradition) and the incident of her nabbing daddy's trifle leftovers and running away gleefully.









THE END!!!

Things I'm Loving

In no particular order (because I'm lazy and don't want to rearrange the pics to a particular order), these are some things I love today. I took a few shots tonight, on the fly, so I could post this. I could have (should have) waited until tomorrow so I could take them in natural light but, once again, I'm just too damn lazy. Besides, if it was as easy as saying I'd do it there would be a lot more posts on here lately. So, here you go!

Mads in a winter hat. Cutest.Ever.

Because I'm spoiled McSpoiledson my lover brought me home the ultimate in Lush gift boxes to make up for leaving me alone with an anxious dog, messy house, and satan's spawn our adorable and practically perfect daughter. I stash it in my closet where it can smell lovely every day and I can look and oooo and awwww and wish I could make it last forever.
More Lush, stashed on my closet shelves with the Nora Roberts books The Bear won't let me put on our book shelves. Yep, he's embarrassed. Aren't the colors so pretty (the Lush, not the books)?
My pretty little bench from Target that matches our bed perfectly. It also opens and has storage inside. Not tons of space, but enough. The sad part in this picture is the lack of pretty pillows on my bed. I have ideas of the perfect bed pillows so I'm slow accumulating them. Not to mention that pretty throws are expensive! Note the dark lamp on The Bear's side of the bed. Because he is traveling yet again.
My half decorated Target tree. I loaded the top half of the tree up with pretty/cheap ornaments because I have to leave the bottom emtpy due to little baby hands that like to grab. "Wow wow," she says when I turn the lights on.
My new little entryway bench. It's the perfect size and I'm so happy to have it. The baskets were even included and they are actually pretty nice. I don't sit here to read or drink my coffee but I didn't have anything to fill the other side of the bench!
Love these two. Just because they are awesome and wear things like this.

I love myself for finally buying, and prepping, my prefolds. And of course actually using them. This is a pretty great fold if I do say so myself. Too bad they don't always look so good!
The Angry Bear himself.....and our sweet doggie. Except when he yelps in the night after hearing Mad wake to nurse. The dog, not The Bear.
This face. I love scrunchie nose.
Her. This chair. Books. Bare legs in Winter. Blue eyes. Messy hair.

I love a lot right now. Things I don't love, and thus do not have pictures of, are :

♥ creepy noises in the dark house. There are a lot of them and it freaks me out some nights when I'm alone. aka tonight
♥ wind (probably a huge contributor to the creepy noises)
♥ my empty refrigerator
♥ work travel right before Christmas.
♥ work travel all the time (I know it's necessary but that doesn't mean I have to love it. This is just a "don't love" list, not an "I hate it" list)
♥ Staying up too late when I'm alone
♥ proper punctuation.

So, there you have it. Now I'm off to bed. Someday I'll have a better camera, better photo taking skillz (they are there, I just don't care to try), and the time and energy to take pictures during the day when I don't have to use a flash. Until then, this is what you get.