Craft-O-Rama

Since we bought the house I've been obsessively searching the internet for design ideas to help me fill up all the empty wall and corner space. I've replaced a lot of my favorite celebrity mom blog spots with design on a dime style blogs and they've given me the itch to start re-finishing furniture more often.

Years ago I helped a friend finish a table for his house. During the whole process he bitched and moaned about how he could have found the same table, finished the exact same way, for a lot less money, at DownEast and he wouldn't be stuck in the garage at that very moment, with paint fumes filling his nostrils, in the middle of Winter. I admit we didn't really know what we were doing and did almost all the sanding by hand (there was A LOT of it!) which made the process even longer but it gave me the itch and I've never lost it. Sometimes I wonder if he still appreciates that table and all the work we put into it......probably not. But I appreciate the lesson learned!

My itch to thrift shop for furniture to re-finish is also coupled with the strong desire to add some color to my home. I don't want to just have a stand to throw keys on I want to have a COLORFUL one. I want to have a red/blue/green/orange/yellow console that I can hide all the awful electronics in my living room. I want to have the awesome creative furniture that people "oooo" and "awwww" at when they enter my home. Currently I am a RcWilley couch owning, Costco rug loving, Pier One table dining woman. I hate that there is no character to my entry way. I loathe my cluttered counters. I despise my poor attempt at pillow creativity. I need to be more crafty!!!!!

I enjoy finding a project and getting to work on it. Mostly it's my sticktoitivness that starts to lag after a while. When we moved in I was going to do everything, ALL AT ONCE! Of course after finishing two picture frames and not really loving the design outcome I sort of lost my momentum. A shelf for Baby Bear's bedroom sat, forgotten, on top of the washer/dryer for months. I shocked myself when I ordered, and actually picked up, a gorgeous photograph that my dad shot. The easy option was to buy a frame from Target and I shocked myself again when I found energy one day and hung it. This required measuring, marking, & leveling which are not things I enjoy. And you know what. I love that picture. It really adds to our small bathroom and every time I see it I smile.

This weekend while The Bear was sick and my mom was babysitting Baby Bear for our not so datey "date night" I pulled out the shelf for the nursery. I sanded and painted that night and the next morning I put the last coat on and did some antiquing. It turned out lovely! The Bear helped me hang it and, aside from agonizing over what should be placed on the shelf itself, it looks amazing! When Mad wakes up from her naps she smiles at me and points to it, showing me the new addition to her room. She's very attentive to details in her space and the fact that I have her approval gives me the drive to do more.

So, here's a goal for the Fall/Winter. Be crafty. Furniture, frames, candle holders, kitchen decor. Whatever it may be, large or small, I'm going to get it done before Spring. Ok. Maybe not all of the things that need to get done. But some of them. A lot of them. And it won't take me weeks of mental preparation either. Maybe next year I'll have the nerve to approach the subject of wall painting with The Bear......

It's My Party

Today my beautiful daughter turned One. One year ago I held her in my arms for the first time. One year ago I knew what it was like to feel an absolute unconditional love. One year ago my life was forever changed and I'm so glad that it was. These months have gone by too quickly but they have been so wonderful. She brings a light and a life to our days that I cannot even describe. Her bright eyes sparkle with happiness and wonder from the moment she wakes in the morning until I snuggle her to sleep at night. I watch her laugh and play and I am in awe that I had a part in creating such a perfect being. Mr. Bear and I are so lucky to be her parents and my heart is overflowing with my love for her.









The weekend has been filled with family, friends & fun but I think I can safely speak for both Mad and myself when I say that we are looking forward to the nice quiet week ahead. All the excitement has made her a little clingy, which is entirely out of the ordinary, so I plan to spend the week doing a lot of snuggling and playing with all the new fun toys she has. I am sad that her first year is ALREADY over but I know that the next months will be more fun than ever.

Happy Birthday my beautiful daughter! I love you more and more each day.

Miles of Piles

It's late...for me anyway.....and I have a gigantic pile of towels to fold.....and they are still sitting in the same place I put them first thing this morning, right on the couch, next to the spot that I have planted my lazy self, NOT folded. To be exact there are 5 folded towels. Only 20 million to go.

The Bear was tired and headed off to bed almost an hour ago. Right now he is snoring so loudly that I can hear him through the wall and closed doors (guess this means I won't be joining him any time soon since sleeping next to a snoring bear is nearly impossible). On the bed next to him is a huge pile of clothes that I threw there this morning and never put away. Do you see a pattern?

I also have jeans in the dryer and a tub full of soaking diapers that need to be moved to the washer. Diapers that haven't been used since basically the day we moved in to the new house. Something about two weeks of baby diarrhea (TMI!) which then turned into a consistent 3 poops a day-er baby, a broken diaper sprayer, & super funky smelling dipes from too much hard water and terrible washing habits. Excuses that are all as stinky as my diapers but I've felt a little buried lately. Not to mention fighting against an Angryatclothdiapers Bear who has been less than enthusiastic (but I love him anyway) toward my cloth since we moved in. Pretty sure he sabotaged my diaper sprayer (love you Mr. Bear, if you even read my blog anymore!).

So instead of doing all this folding of laundry that is basically BEGGING to be done....I'm reading craft/design blogs. Yep. And oogling over all the projects I'll probably never do but really wish I could. My most crafty project since the move has been a couple of picture frames and a letter "T" that I finished to go over the mantle. Even that took me about 3 days longer than it should have. Sitting on top of my dryer is an unfinished shelf for Baby Bear's bedroom that is entirely lacking in the decor department. I swore I would have this finished before her birthday when all the family is here to view how much I haven't done to the place. I am a sad un-crafty mama. Other crafts on my list? An Autumn yarn wreath for the front door & a book wreath for the empty library/"formal" living room. I say "formal" because nothing in my life will ever be successfully formal, I'm just not that classy.

/tangent. I think the snoring has gotten quieter so I really am going to fold these towels so I can sneak into bed. Hopefully without disturbing The Bear's sleep.

Reminiscing - The First Year

My daughter is turning 1 in a, very short, week. I try to soak up all my moments with her now, pre-one year old, so I never forget what it feels like. How her wispy hair tickles my cheek as I slowly rock her to sleep, the way the softest skin on her neck and shoulders feels against my lips when I kiss her over and over and over again there (it's my little spot of heaven), how she buries her head in my chest when she wants to be close to me, how her chubby hands look perched on top of my breast as she nurses, and the blissful feeling of having her so much a part of me still, relying on me for nourishment, comfort, love, soothing; I wouldn't have it any other way.

When a couple welcomes a child into their lives for the first time every other parent around them explains how fast it will go and how before you know it they'll be graduating high school, having babies of their own, & moving on with their own grown up lives. Do they all feel the way I do when they say this? Aching knowing that the sweet beings we hold, nurse, kiss, hug, love constantly day in and day out are going to grow out of us so much sooner than we will ever be ready for? I see friends, and even strangers, and I want to yell out to them, "it DOES go so fast and you won't know, you won't understand, what that means until it's already past!". There's just nothing you can do to slow it down.

The joy of watching her grow and change is mixed with the sadness of watching her leave each stage behind. Every day that she still holds her little arms up for me to pick her up I try to remind myself that sooner, not later, she will be able to run so fast she won't need my arms to carry her where she wants to go. Every night she calls for me because she needs to be snuggled and nursed before she can fall back to sleep is one closer to the night she stops wanting me to comfort her. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I still don't get all the sleep I want every night but then I stop and think...and I realize that some unlucky parents have had 30 minutes (ore more) LESS snuggling each day than I have gotten this entire first year. Yes, that is how I choose to look at it. I'M the lucky one. And let me just say that middle of the night snuggles are so much snugglier (not a word, I realize) than day time snuggles. Their heavy, sleepy bodies just curl up so easily and rather than yanking hair and earrings the darkness soothes them and little arms and fingers find a resting spot across your chest as they slumber contently in your arms. I love love love it. Even when I'm tired and think I hate it I still love it.

I hate to say goodbye to this first year. I hate that some people will start calling my BABY a toddler. I wish I could freeze time. But I can't, and I know I'll love this next year just as much as the first. I know that my baby will always be MY baby. I know I'll still get snuggles even if I have to wait until she's worn out and ready for bed before I get them. They are worth waiting for.

I've loved this year so much. I love my baby so much. I love being a mama so much more than I ever could have imagined I would have. Now my little munchkin is waking and will be calling for her mama any moment so I must wipe away the tears and enjoy my baby.

Days Like These

When Mad wakes from a nap I like to let her play in bed for a while before I go to get her. Why? Well, mostly because she will and it gives me a few minutes to finish up whatever I'm in the middle of doing (usually a shower or dishes), and also because who am I to disturb a cheerful baby who is playing happily by herself? I like to wait until she has decided she is done playing and starts to call for me. "Mama? She says. And then it is followed by a long string of loud, "mamamamamamamamama"'s. I love it. I pop my head in the door and she jumps up and down in her bed with the biggest most delicious grin on her face.

Kinda like this, only maybe a little bigger because you can't see her rabbit teeth in this one, looking way too big for her (or my) own good.

Then, once she's in a fresh diaper and sometimes even wearing a real outfit (getting dressed is overrated you know) we head out to play, have a snack, listen to music, read books...all that good stuff. That means all that extra time I had to finish my cleaning is about to be undone because this kid is a whirlwind. And it's not just toys. It's everything! Laundry is her favorite item to spread throughout the house. Diaper laundry especially.

She inherited her father's strange fascination with putting everything she can find on her head. Sometimes if she can't get it to stay she gets annoyed so I help her secure it on top of her crown, but usually I just glance over and there she is with a diaper/lap top sleeve, toy bag, bowl, perched up there and a big grin on her face. I laugh hysterically which only encourages this behavior.

During meal time it's a constant battle on who gets to feed her. Me, the mama with capable hands, or her the BABY with spastic movements and no aversion to having food smothering her from top to bottom.


This picture makes it look like she's mastered the spoon. Let me assure you, based on my kitchen floor after lunch this afternoon, that she certainly has NOT!

When she gets filthy dirty I give up the battle and just let her be as nature intended. I admit it's selfish of me because this view is just about the most adorable in the entire world.

Now, and also a hint at what she will look like as an 80 year old lady.

At the end of the day she smothers us with love before it's time for jammies. Daddy gets the extra special loves as she's a world class daddy's girl. I mean, he might as well start filling up her closet with shoes and designer jeans because he'll never say no to his little girl. Never.


And that, dear friends, is what life is like these days. I want it to never end. Except at 10 PM then I want to sleep allllll night long. I think it's the Summer. I can't imagine Winter being this lovely.

I'll See You in the Morning

As I sit here typing away my daughter is playing peacefully on her own. Which means she is NOT asking me to read slash sing Elmo's Twelve Days of Christmas fifteen times in a row. That's a pretty big deal since that has been her favorite book for the last couple of weeks. I'm not saying that I have an awful voice but let's just say that if I went to a church I probably would NOT be invited to sing with the choir. But Mad loves my singing voice and she's the most important judge in my world, just sayin. Either way, good voice or not, no one wants to hear the Sesame Street version of that annoying Christmas song so many times a day, or ever. The sacrifices I make.

Speaking of sacrifices...I have to sacrifice my Iphone to get her to do something other than read books, allowing me a few moments to sit on the couch. She loves talking on the phone and will jabber away to herself before handing the phone off to me to chat with whatever imaginary person is on the other line. It's her favorite. After books that is. And maybe after eating. This kid will consume more food than her 7 year old cousin! And she still nurses at least 5 times a day and twice at night! Yes, that means she still doesn't sleep through the night.

Oh the sleeping hell she puts me through. I know it's normal for some babies not to sleep through the night at this age but when everyone you know got their child to sleep at 6 months it's really depressing. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. And maybe I am. At around 8 months I got her to sleep for about a month until she started working on all the rest of the teeth in her mouth at the same time as well as learned to move into a sitting position from her tummy. She was restless, uncomfortable and constantly pushing herself up so my previous techniques of calming her in bed stopped working. For a while we let her stay in bed with us, until she no longer wanted to sleep in our bed. Maybe I should have let her cry it out at that point but something inside me just didn't think that was the method to use with her and so I was back to nursing her twice a night. We do have really good nights though, which gives me hope, like last night. She went down at 7 with no issues and slept until 3:30 AM. If only I had gone to bed at 9! Of course she woke for the day at 6:50 AM and I was exhausted all morning. I blame the sun. Damn sunlight telling my offspring to wake for the day. Hate it.

I suppose my point in saying all of this (about sleeping issues) is that The Bear has booked a weekend NYC getaway for us in few weeks, without Baby Bear (!), and I really really want to have her sleeping well before then. I'll rest so much easier while I'm gone knowing that she is sleeping and not waking expecting mama nursies and getting a bottle and someone other than her mama (even if it is Grammy, a pretty awesome substitute). Not to mention that I have NO milk stored and so I have to pump enough for the three days and knowing that I don't have to get enough for 4 night feedings too would be a huge relief. I don't know how I'm going to get enough as it is since I haven't pumped since she was 4 months old.

Enough talk about my mom boobs. Can we return to the fact that I get to go away, ALONE with Mr. Bear, for a whole weekend?!?! I'm beyond excited and pretty nervous too. I know that a lot of parents take vacations alone during the first year of their child's life but I have only spent one night away from her when she was 4 months old and mostly all I did was sleep and then we were back together the next morning. Mr. Bear travels so much that not seeing her every day is normal. I feel like it should be easier for me but I can't stand to imagine my baby wanting me and not understanding why I'm not there for her. Likely she won't even realize I'm gone and that will make me sad too. Really though, I know that time time alone is truly important for my relationship with my Angry Bear and that is what I'm excited for. Plus NYC! Hello! We will have so much fun together. He has been there a lot but I haven't been since I was really young and I couldn't enjoy the things I can now...like drinks! Going out without having to come home and nurse the Baby Bear means I have a lot more freedom. And no curfew! Woo hoo! Now I just have to find some cute things to wear while we are there. What is a vacation without a cute outfit, or three?

Now my Baby Bear is napping, she is a great napper, and I am missing her. She's been extra lovey with me all day, smothering me with kisses and hugging me for no reason at all. Heaven! No wonder I'm afraid of how much I'll miss her! How cute is this picture of her watching the kids play in the water fountains in SLC? Cute! She always props her feet up like this and I just want to eat them for dinner. Yum.

But Oh oh Those Su UH mmer Nights

Somehow the Summer has flown by and here we are mid-August just weeks away from Autumn and just weeks away from my little baby's birthday. I'm not ready for either. I have a feeling that my little sun lovin girl isn't going to be too pleased when there is snow on the ground. If she is anything like her mama and daddy she will prefer bare toes and the sun on her skin all her life (no winter sports for us, unless you count bubble baths a sport).

For the last few months I have not been able to find my camera cord to upload pics so mostly this is a completely pointless post of image overhaul. I have no idea what order I uploaded these in (wish Blogger had a better photo organization system....) but mostly they are pictures of Mad, she's easy to spot! Wish that having a baby didn't put me into such a writer's block. I've lost all my humor and wit (did I have any before?). I may not be a deep philosophical writer like my sister or father but I always thought this blog wasn't too awful to read. Now, ugh, unless you love pictures of the same person (and a damn cute person at that) and hearing me rant about how disorganized my home is (STILL!!!) it has turned rather blah. Someday I'll work on that by getting my life more exciting.











This last one is of Mad and her Uncle Bri. It's pretty much my favorite picture of the day.