Here's to Hoping for NO Shadow

The month of January, especially these last couple of weeks, have been emotion filled times for the Bear home. We have been happiest just bundled up in bed together snuggling while we ignore the mess our little tornado makes. It's amazing how much of a wreck she can turn this house into in mere minutes. I mean, that is what we want to be doing and try to get as much of that in as possible. Unfortunately Monday-Friday ruins these plans with work, meals, laundry, dogs, etc. But we still ignore the mess as often as possible.

I confess that my mood and the constant headaches have led me to self medicate with diaper stalking. And, much to my bank accounts dismay, purchasing. A lot. I'll have to de-stash a bit to make room for newbies and prepare for anything I might have to buy this next week. *crie* This is a very emotional thing for me. The obsessive purchasing has gotten so bad that, had I any money left to spend, I would have started buying newborn diapers for a baby that is far FAR from being born. Seriously though, newborn everything is so smushy and cute. Please tell me there are other comfort shoppers out there reading this!?!

Lastly, I have a question. How many other babies out there are obsessed with Pillow Pets? I finally felt like Mad was old enough to keep hers in her bed. Usually when I check on her she is hugging it with her bum up in the air like the little stink bug that she is. She picked the turtle out, TWICE, all by herself, after ooohing and aaaahing over them every time we passed the kiosk at the mall. Generally I don't buy into hyped up items but these little loveys are worth it. She has slept so much better since I've put it in her bed.

Wordless Almost Wednesday

A Day in Diapers

On any given day this is how diapers, and outfits, morph as the hours tick by.

Morning means daddy does the first diaper change and so, because she sleeps in sposies (her bum is ultra sensitive to wetness and no other diaper can seem to keep it comfy dry through the night) and we have them around, her first couple of changes are into sposies. Sad face. I'm trying to wean us down to only one at night and cloth for every other change, even in the morning, but for now this is how it is. I just took one picture for 2 diapers because they are ugly. True story. Also note one missing sockie. She likes to pull them off in the night. Mornings are for jammies or nakedies.
Un-bleached prefold with snappi. Honestly, if I wasn't taking pictures it would have been this all day because we didn't leave the house. I'm in love with prefolds and don't know how I made it through the first year without them.
Film Noir Goodmama on the bum. One of my all time favs. Cushy cuteness. It should have a cover but I don't bother with them at home.
Carnival Goodmama ONE. We lost socks and shoes, the headband, and the skirt. Too.many.clothes.
End of the day pre-fold in a Thirsties cover, light purple. And Mad being adorably naughty trying to reach our cork bowl on the table. Babies standing on tip toes is the very.best. I'm amazed that the leggings lasted until pj time. That never happens.

The point of this? I love cloth. A lot. It makes my day way more interesting when I can actually look forward to a diaper change. Sometimes it's getting the perfect fit with a folded diaper. Sometimes it's seeing if I can make an outfit match every diaper change throughout the day. And basically her cuteness is magnified with a fluffy bottom. Regardless of the specific reasons Mads and I both love a cloth bum and if any of my friends or readers wants to make the switch or needs help please ask! It won't be long until you are wondering why you ever diapered with sposies (I still feel guilty about my night diaper confession)!




This was Mads as a newborn in her cloth. She looked so teeny tiny!

Basically.....

♥ my head hurts
♥ I'm tired
♥ I'm cold
♥ my teeth want to be brushed
♥ my head hurts
♥ shiz needs cleaning....like whoa
♥ laundry baskets!!! (like, I'm being attacked)
♥ messy refrigerator!!! (cue murder scene music)
♥ un-made bed!!! (blood on the bathroom floor)
♥ my head hurts (even more from the exclamations)
♥ the dog needs training....weeks ago
♥ I ate a cookie tonight
♥ more than one.
♥ I miss Mads when she sleeps

BUT....

♥ I have a soft pillow to put my aching head on to sleep
♥ our blankets are warm and cozy
♥ Sonicare!!! (like a welcome home sign at the airport exclamation)
♥ our pantry is full of over the counter pain killers
♥ when cleaned this shiz will look beautiful.....like, double whoa
♥ if I never clean it it's still pretty awesome
♥ laundry baskets are good for playing in with Mads when emptied (onto the floor)
♥ refrigerator full of food!!! (puppies being adorable exclamation)
♥ messy beds are still comfy
♥ headaches go away. almost always.
♥ my dog sleeps with/looks adorable with pillow pets. all on his own
♥ the more cookies you eat the less the calories count (?????right?????)
♥ Mad fell asleep in my bed and we snugged for a bit
♥ also, she looks like this.....

Look at me. Being all venty and positive in the same post. And have awesome punctuation skills that make tons of sense. All reasons why I read my own blog. I need to go eat some more cookies so I will hopefully have lost some weight in the morning.

By the way, if you're wondering, yes her tummy is exactly that sweet, her leg rolls beg to be pinched, she can accessorize her own hair thankyouverymuch so that's why it looks like I never do it. Cause I don't.

Miles of Piles

It's late...for me anyway.....and I have a gigantic pile of towels to fold.....and they are still sitting in the same place I put them first thing this morning, right on the couch, next to the spot that I have planted my lazy self, NOT folded. To be exact there are 5 folded towels. Only 20 million to go.

The Bear was tired and headed off to bed almost an hour ago. Right now he is snoring so loudly that I can hear him through the wall and closed doors (guess this means I won't be joining him any time soon since sleeping next to a snoring bear is nearly impossible). On the bed next to him is a huge pile of clothes that I threw there this morning and never put away. Do you see a pattern?

I also have jeans in the dryer and a tub full of soaking diapers that need to be moved to the washer. Diapers that haven't been used since basically the day we moved in to the new house. Something about two weeks of baby diarrhea (TMI!) which then turned into a consistent 3 poops a day-er baby, a broken diaper sprayer, & super funky smelling dipes from too much hard water and terrible washing habits. Excuses that are all as stinky as my diapers but I've felt a little buried lately. Not to mention fighting against an Angryatclothdiapers Bear who has been less than enthusiastic (but I love him anyway) toward my cloth since we moved in. Pretty sure he sabotaged my diaper sprayer (love you Mr. Bear, if you even read my blog anymore!).

So instead of doing all this folding of laundry that is basically BEGGING to be done....I'm reading craft/design blogs. Yep. And oogling over all the projects I'll probably never do but really wish I could. My most crafty project since the move has been a couple of picture frames and a letter "T" that I finished to go over the mantle. Even that took me about 3 days longer than it should have. Sitting on top of my dryer is an unfinished shelf for Baby Bear's bedroom that is entirely lacking in the decor department. I swore I would have this finished before her birthday when all the family is here to view how much I haven't done to the place. I am a sad un-crafty mama. Other crafts on my list? An Autumn yarn wreath for the front door & a book wreath for the empty library/"formal" living room. I say "formal" because nothing in my life will ever be successfully formal, I'm just not that classy.

/tangent. I think the snoring has gotten quieter so I really am going to fold these towels so I can sneak into bed. Hopefully without disturbing The Bear's sleep.

Airing Our Dirty Laundry

This week I finally "officially" packed up all of Baby Bear's 0-3 month clothing items (and a few 3-6 month pants that don't fit her long legs and booty bottom). Whoa boy was it a sad day for me. I have watched her grow. I've been excited to see all the things she can learn. So why am I so shocked??? I miss my tiny little itty bitty baby.



I wish I could go back and smell her newborness just one last time. Hold her tiny little head while she nursed through the night. Snuggle her on my shoulder without having her squirm away from me. Oh how will I ever make it through her life without crying over every new development? I suppose this is being a parent.



Today we folded diapers together. Well. I folded diapers. She stole them from my pile every time I turned my head. Eventually she had the bulk of the laundry on her lap and smiled up at me just as innocent as can be. I put my hands on her face, brought my head down low to touch hers, and kissed her over and over and over again. She loves when I do this. She loves big open mouth kisses especially. I love smelling her sweet scent. I love her. Then we decided that it was a good time to abandon our piles and take a nap together. I love being a mama. Thank you Mr. Bear for letting me spend all my days at home with my baby girl. Our time together is precious. Look at that face? I'm drunk from love. Time to go sleep so I can be close to her.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Tonight I was scrapbooking. Right, I know, not me. It was one of those that already has all the pages decorated and you just put pics on the open squares and throw some stickers on and act like you are totally crafty. So, I wondered why although I desperately WANT to be crafty, like when I thought I was going to make coasters from cute paper and tiles....RIIIIGHT, I totally suck at it. "What AM I good at?", I wondered to myself. Then I thought about the yummy batch of wipe solution I whipped up just this morning, with my little munchkin in a sling, and a load of diapers drying in the laundry room. Is cloth diapering a craft? I'd claim that it was but I've never use pre-folds so I just feel guilty saying so. Not to mention the raunchy mama's on Diaper Swappers probably think I'm a novice because I don't know all the acronyms.

But I'm good at being a crunchyish mama. Even if I don't know how to use pre-folds. I cloth diaper. Something that Mr. Bear and *ahem* Brother Bear (he's a ginger, so go figure ;) told me I would never stick with. I baby wear. Even though I sometimes just put her in her sling just for the fun of it because we have no place to go and a house that's too small to require the sling for household duties (does eating breakfast at the counter count???). I breastfeed despite all the obstacles I've encountered (I fully intend on posting about this and why, after all the difficulties I STILL deal with, I KNOW that it is worth it). We co-sleep.....and this is one that I think we are still coming to terms with. I have to give props to Mr. Bear because he is a crunchy daddy too! He couldn't do the sling but he loves the Bjorn, he supports my diaper addiction, and he is on board for co-sleeping...at least as long as Baby Bear is waking in the night.



Conclusion: I'm good at being a mama. The best kind of mama I know how to be. I also know how to make a kick ass cupcake from the box. I do them for every holiday.

*that is my Serena & Lily Market sling. I looooove it. & not just because it's pretty.

Do You Remember the Time

Do I remember the days when I got more than 2 hours of sleep at a time? How about those lazy weekend mornings when I could sleep in, stretch, sleep some more, and then head out to a late, lazy breakfast with The Bear? Or just the regular old work mornings when I got up at 8:30 (8:30??? Como whaaaaa???? I only speak 5:30 these days)? I do remember these days but I try not to. If I do then my headache gets a little stronger and I slump down a little further in my sloppy jammies. So instead I'm focused on THIS day.

This day I got to giggle with Baby Bear. This day I got to laugh with my nephew. This day I learned more lessons about being a mama. This day I got to take a late afternoon nap with my girl. This day I got to spend all of my energy being better than I was before, because being a mama is a lot better than being "Tequila Melissa", as my family refers to my pre-baby self. I won't lie that kind of hurts my feelings, because I know it ISN'T a compliment, but I guess I created the name for myself with all those old posts dedicated to the drink (someday when I'm not nursing my baby I will have a reunion with Sir Tequila just to see if we still have the same "fire" we did before). This day I got to go to Target ALONE and it was lovely. The best part about this day? It was 50 degrees! And even though we didn't go for the walk I was hoping for Baby Bear wore her shorties for the first time, and looked adorable!



A few notes about this picture (I'd LIKE to be high tech and, you know, draw on the picture itself with fun colors and shapes accenting what I want to show you....but I don't know how to work any program other than Lightroom, and only the most basic of tools within, on this stupid Mac....which I love, but you have to be smart to do those fancy picture doodles...and I'm not): Our toothbrushes are in the second/guest bathroom and I think that is gross but we can't brush our teeth in OUR bedroom because Mini Mr. Bear has taken over and wakes to the vibrating of the brushes. There are "man wipes" on the counter, yes. I use them for my 3 year old nephew who hasn't mastered the art of cleanup. Today his bathroom break ended in a bath, I'll spare you the details. You can see Baby Bear is watching him play Superman in the tub rather than smile for me in the mirror. Yes, I still have a baby belly pooch. I'm afraid I will NOT be that girl who updates her Facebook page 6 minutes after giving birth letting the world know I'm in my pre-pregnancy jeans again. Oh size 4 how I miss you. Ok.....size 6. But still, compared to size 11million that's not too shabby. Also....is it legal to eat my child's toes? *NOM NOM NOM* Lastley....my mom rocks. She knitted those adorable shorties and I'm in love. Oh, and yes, my towels are disheveled. Would you like to come fix them?