Tuesday, March 8, 2011


It's been a busy week already for my little Baby Bear and I what with rainy day dance parties, endless snack times, refusing naps and all of that. Tonight, just a short while after I put my tuckered out little one to bed, she woke crying and needing her mama. I rocked her and rocked her in our big wood rocking chair, stroking her soft (perhaps just a little tuna and cheese dinner scented) hair and feeling her sweet baby fingers play with my necklace. Each time I shifted my weight she buried herself deeper into my body, pressing herself closer to me, and we became one as we rocked and rocked. Her long legs wrapped around me, each breath tickled my skin, her fingers doing a sleep dance across my chest and arms. I am grateful in this moment for my soft spacious body to serve as her temporary resting place.

Motherhood? It is heaven. Absolute in every way. The hard minutes of the day just slip away while we rock and all I can remember is that very moment. Did I complain earlier about toys filling every inch of my home? No possible because right now there is an angel in my arms who spreads light and love with her every step.
When the time came for that baby of mine to get back into her own warm and cozy bed she cried to hear my voice whispering to her that I was there and would always protect her. "Mama's here, Mama's here," I sing to her and she curls up, long skinny legs tucked underneath her body, arms cradling her fuzzy pillow, blankie tucked into the soft skin of her neck. I sneak out quietly, off to do this and that around the house, but my mind keeps wandering back to my warm sleeping baby.
{This little finger? It's her binky finger. She flicks it even in her sleep.}
I want to crawl in that little bed with her, whisper in her ear while she sleeps, tell her that I love her more than even seemed possible those years before she was mine. I want to promise her that I don't mind when she wakes every night and I think she is perfect just the way she is. I want to promise her I will always be by her side when she needs me, no matter the reason, no matter the time. I want to kiss her round, pink, cheeks over and over so the feel of them is forever on my lips. I want to remember this feeling all the time so I never take for granted our moments together.
*All sleeping images are from the weeks we spent sick as sick can be in Mama's bed. The last picture? Well, that is just the face I get to see every day.


Jess said...

Sweet, sweet baby girls... there is nothing else in the world like them! :)

Gillman said...

Rocking my babes to sleep is also my very most favorite time of day. I love that they are willing and tired enough to sit still, cuddle, and love on me. So peaceful.


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