Wednesday, November 28, 2012

We Gave Thanks

This time of year always feels crazy. Even more so when you have a little bebe around to care for 24/7. It's nice because he gives me an excuse to slow down and love in the moment. I'm thankful for that....for him, for my babies, my family, my loves. That is what means the most to me this year.

Thanksgiving. His funny little tongue cracks me up!
She got her own tree, in her bedroom, this year.
One thing that has kept me grounded and sane lately is meal time at home. It isn't always easy to make a meal from scratch every single night but that is our goal and most nights we are successful. Sometimes I end up chopping veggies at an insanely slow pace while a baby is strapped to my chest.
He loves to be part of everything I do.
Other nights Mr. Bear struggles to entertain him, when all he wants is a boob and bed, so I can just get the food on the table. Most nights I set down a meal for my family and whisk our Mini Bear off to bed. I know my food is getting cold but I have learned that this time passes too quickly and there is no reason to be resentful of the time I have get to spend sitting, rocking, nursing, and kissing my baby. You would think that would be easy to do but the reality is, when you are mama, the day just keeps going while you sit, be still, and care for the little one. That means cold meals, or no meal at all, missed conversations, messy houses, and many other details of the day that we just have to be ready to skip out on at a moments notice. I struggled with that when I had Maddie. I hate to admit I felt that way but I didn't realize, at the time, how much I'd miss missing things just to be in quiet place with her, alone.
We napped
So when I haven't posted in a while....since that is what usually happens. I am probably doing dishes or caring for my loves (sweet AngryBear included). They are my heart, not just a part of it, ALL of it. I only wish I was better than I am at it.

Happy Holidays Interwebs!

Monday, November 19, 2012

3 Months

My sweet Jaime,

You are 3 whole months old! It's amazing how fast time has gone by. You like to talk talk talk talk talk. Such a chatterbox. You make everyone who meets you feel so special because you smile and just tell them all about yourself. Your round cheeks are so kissable! I kiss you so much and I think it makes your already sensitive skin even more so but I just. Can't. Stop. You adore your sister. ADORE! I could not have imagined the way you two have bonded. She is SOOOO overwhelming and tends to smother you and get in your face, loudly, and often, but you just smile and jabber at her. When you hear her voice you search the room to find her. You love to twist your little chubby fists in her blonde hair. I love it. I love you both so much I can't imagine how I ever lived my life without you both in it.

Your easygoing personality has not changed. You get cranky and want to be carried constantly but when it is time to sleep, at night, you put yourself to sleep (after nursing for a good 30 or 40 minutes) and stay down until 3 AM, usually. I couldn't ask for more! You love to stand up on my legs, be tickled on your ribs, "fly" in the air, and trot on my knees. Every day with you is amazing and wonderful. I feel so lucky to be your mama.

Saturday, November 10, 2012


Tonight I'm sitting up, alone. My babies are tucked snuggly into their beds (well, maybe not so snug for my little Prince with the no blankets rules etc), my sweet husband is snoozing (tomorrow is our anniversary, he must be anxious for it to begin!), and even the kitties are tucked into strange spots purring away. This is the time I have to think.....I replay my days.
Making dinner with a baby wrapped to your body takes practice.
 I scolded a squirrely Maddie several times....more than I would like. She was just tired and happy to be with us, maybe wanting some special attention, which for my little bug equals wild hysterics, rule breaking, and major meltdowns when things don't go her way. Our little Prince (Jameson Prince is Mad's nickname for him, so I'll go with it) had something causing discomfort and he would not nap for more than 5 minutes even though he was totally and completely exhausted. So, I rubbed some teething oil (clove oil drops in EVOO) on his gums, just in case, wrapped him up on my chest and we walked. His warm little head felt so good on my chest once he finally gave in to his exhaustion and fell asleep. We, very slowly, made dinner this way. I took my baby girl and tucked her into bed. When she finally fell asleep I kissed her cheeks and lips, obsessively my husband says, and whisper that I'm sorry I'm a grouchy mama and I love her so. I know later she will sneak down the stairs and into bed with her mama and daddy, her legs swinging over my waist, her face snuggled into a pillow that probably smells like me.
He watches everything she does. He loves her already.
Whenever the day is over I can remember all the wonderful moments and I wonder why I got so grouchy. Is it just the nature of being the mama? Of loving, caring for, cleaning up after, tending to constantly, that makes patience nearly non-existent? That makes the beauty of our life a little more difficult to see in the heat of the tantrum/moment?

They make me laugh. She adores him.
I looked at Jaime tonight and saw him toddling around the house, making messes with sister, sitting in a high chair eating food that my body doesn't personally provide for him, being naughty, growing right before my very eyes. And then I blinked and I saw my Maddie sitting in my lap. Big beautiful blue eyes laughing at everything I say, giving me big slobbery open mouthed kisses, sitting patiently while I kissed her over and over (I've always done this).
Even when he doesn't nap he is my angel baby. Truly, he lights up our lives.
She was only 1. Perfection. I wish I could have that moment back, just for a moment.
 I must be better. I love my babies so.


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