Monday, September 19, 2011

Happy 2 Years

Dear Madeleine,

Today is your birthday. Two years ago I was holding you in my arms in a hospital bed, looking at you, knowing you, loving you. I thought you were beautiful then but, oh, I had no idea how beautiful you would become. How much my heart would melt when you looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes and called me "mama". How big my smile would be when I watched you play with your daddy, his little twin. How peaceful I would feel when you curled into my arms for a snuggle and I could breathe in the scent of your soft hair.
Mama and Mad a few hours after birth

Life with you is never, ever, boring. You have a million things to say and get so frustrated when I ask you to repeat yourself until I can actually figure what you are talking about. Everything is GO and RUN from the moment you wake up. I treasure the moments you decide you need to come to me for a "mama hug" and I can bundle you up in my arms and squeeze you tightly.
My one year old Mad
Happy Birthday my angel girl. Mama loves you to the moon, and back.

My great big piggy tailed 2 year old Mad
*more Mad heavy posts to come during the week ahead......

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Back, with balance

I realize I've been MIA for that last month. I'm pretty sure I've missed you (this blog and my reader aka my mom) more than you've missed me.
We have a bit of a drama queen on our hands
 The truth; I was getting a little distracted by technology and, added to the fact that there was A LOT going on in our lives that was causing both The Bear and I a lot of heartache, I just felt like I wasn't being the wife and mama that I should be. The overwhelming sadness, anger, & frustration of things combined with the distractions of the internet that I used to avoid doing what I needed/wanted to do, had put me far behind. So, I gave some of it up for a while. For over a day I gave all of it up but when I was out with my sister dropping cars off and she got lost and couldn't call me....well, let's just say my AngryBear wasn't too pleased with me and insisted I take my phone with me going forward. That day without caring about anything else but what was right in front of me? It felt really good.

Now The Bear and I feel a little more calm and content, and I think it's safe to say we are stronger and loving each other more than ever, I feel a little more capable to handle distractions without letting them take over. Time management isn't my best trait and so as long and I somehow manage to keep a healthy balance there is no reason I shouldn't do the things I really enjoying doing for myself. Like being a blob on the computer!
And finding time to pamper my "Queena", as she calls herself
Life is crazy around here, with or without the extra distractions.Our home is full of love and chaos and the end of every day leaves me completely spent. I haven't felt so in need of a regular mama break since Mad was just a little newborn crying, pooping, and throwing up all the time. The last few weeks I've been choosing to work on my own schedule, doing things that make me happy instead of the things that always have to get done every day no matter how many times I do them (ie. dishes, laundry, bed making, picking up toys etc). I've reorganized pantries, worked on some projects, thrown away or donated the excess in our life, and attempted to keep the throw pillows on the couch more tidy than they usually are, although you'd never know it since everyone else seems to be working against me. Priorities amirite? It's safe to say that if you walked into my house at any given moment there would still be a play room full of baskets turned upside down, a sink full of dishes, and a baby still in jammies. But, I'm finding peace (don't I always say that?) with the way things are.
Somehow while eliminating things I also acquired others. This is Callie, she adds to the chaos for sure.


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