Monday, October 29, 2012


My handsome hubby

The band was my birthday gift. I didn't think I could love my ring any more, but I do.

Beautiful birthday flowers from my sweet brother

She wants to wear her babies too

His little hands slay me *swoon*

My beautiful girl. This was such a good day.

Bedroom eyes, be still my heart

Friday, October 26, 2012

Stocking Stuff 2012 Christmas Edition

Rather than a full blog post I just thought I'd share that I've been working on a couple stocking stuffer boards on Pinterest. Not that they are all that interesting since pretty much anyone could do some searches for stocking stuffers and find the same :). However, if you are lazy, like I am most of the time, feel free to take a peek. Most everything I would love to receive myself or would get for someone in my life. Some of my favorites?

Pretty Paris Cosmetic Bag
Felt bows by blogger and Etsy shop owner Mrs. Priss
Christmas Coal soap
Ok I can't really pick favorites because I like them all but these are some peeks at a few fun things. I'm really trying to have my ideas ready before I start shopping because I always forget by the time I get my Christmas spending money. I hate to be talking holidays before Halloween has even begun but PEOPLE I'm trying to be prepared. Confession, I already bought some cute things that I have on the list that aren't even being set aside :/.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

2 Months

2 months since my little giant entered the world on that long long night in August. 2 months since I first put my hands on his soft skin and smelled his delicious baby breath. 2 months since his first cries and first gaze into my eyes. 2 whole months. It goes so fast, it really does. This time I expected it but it still just flies by at an alarming rate.

The truth is, beyond 2 months feeling like a long time to have been alive, he doesn't do too much to write about. He's just beyond adorable almost all of the time. What else is there to do? I'd say he sleeps like an angel but I'm still anticipating the day when he doesn't sleep well anymore. Or the day I realize he doesn't get any better, he just always wakes up to nurse once a night until he leaves for high school. He talks and smiles and gurgles at us in the most delightful voice. His chubby little arms and legs flail around while he tries to catch on to something, though he isn't quite sure what to do with an object once he has it in his tiny little grasp.

At this age you can see a glimpse of the fun baby they are growing into BUT you aren't quite there yet. He is just a suggestion of what he will be in 2 more months. We nurse, sleep, walk around, talk, change some diapers, nap, change more diapers, nurse a lot more, walk around, nurse, have some tummy time......every day is pretty much the same, just like that. I spend a lot of time with my lips planted firmly on his cheek or my nose pressed next to his mouth, because I'm absolutely intoxicated with the smell of his skin and breath. Absolutely.

Sometimes he cries. Mostly he complains. His sister adores him. I adore them both.

Mothering two babies is hard work. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. There are days like today when I wake up to a potty trained toddler who has pooped in her night pull up. When the day starts off with a mandatory bath before I've even washed the sleep from my eyes I know I will just be And I am. I will be. I was. And it is so worth it to love on my babies every minute. I just hope they know I love them so.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

At the End of the Day

I could probably read back to my posting after Mad was born and read the same things that I feel like I want to write today.

Well, SOME of the same things. Because to be honest moving from 1 to 2 babies (ssssshhhhh Mad is absolutely still my baby, her hands are still a little chubby) is so so so much easier than moving from alcoholic zero babies and zero clue to life with a child. I can't say I know what I'm doing, because I'm not sure if I ever will, but I definitely feel more confidence in just jumping into the unknown that is raising children. Before it was a jump from complete selfishness to absolute selflessness....for the rest of my life.
Not TOO hard to be selfless when your babies are this adorable
Anyway, lately I'm just feeling the weight of every choice I make with my time. In the morning I could snuggle more in bed making my baby laugh, letting Mad climb on me and trying not to grouch at her (my body is soooore in the mornings, why? shouldn't I feel rested?), and just being warm and snuggly with my family. OR I could shower, God knows it will take hours before I catch the right 20 minute time frame if I wait. OR I could workout. Because I'm fat. And I hate that. And I know my husband doesn't hate my body but wants me to be healthy, as I want him to be healthy. OR I could just get up and stop avoiding the inevitable, make some breakfast and pour some coffee into my desperately exhausted body.
Seriously, a must have for my mornings no matter how they begin
 Those all make for a difficult choice to start out EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Makes me tired just thinking about it. Yesterday I chose to shower. Oh it was a good shower. I find my days are a lot more functional if I start them fully dressed. I'm a lot less likely to take a nap if I've already gotten ready and honestly I don't have time for naps anymore (something I imagined doing all the time when I was pregnant). Today I decided, with my AngryBear's support, to take an hour for myself and run down to Starbucks for coffee. It was nice and I wish I could do that more often. Turn my mama self off for a few minutes, I mean.

The choices continue throughout the day. Hold the baby when he is happy and cooing and melt at his perfection or let him play on his play mat during the only time he'll tolerate it so I can sit with Mad and read The Berenstain Bears books that she is so obsessed with lately. Eat lunch or switch the laundry. Fold that laundry or do anything other than fold the laundry. As an aside, I almost always choose the latter on that one because I hate folding laundry. So the clothes sit in their baskets for a couple days until I just dump it all onto the bed and put it away while wondering why I put it off so long; it is never as bad as I imagine it to be. Anyway, I really do feel like I'm rolling with things a lot better than I did when I had Mad but I'm always feeling like the way I choose to spend my time is the wrong way. My house could be cleaner, more organized and decorated. My kids could be happier and more fufilled with true quality time more often. My body could ache a little less and look a whole lot better.....I just don't have time for it all. 
She's a spaz. And she needs lots of mama attention or she is crazy. it, so much, and it takes up a HUGE chunk of my day.

Dreaded laundry piles. But cute baskets.

Found time for a day date with my babies and my mama.

Made time for a hair cut....with lots of tears involved.

No one else in this picture is worried about getting things done.....

5 days a week goal for making my bed.

At the end of the day I just want to know what choice I can make that will help me with my patience levels. Something I'm really struggling with lately. The End.

Oh wait, I never posted a 1 month post for my sweet baby. Good thing they aren't really doing anything at 1 month. Except getting fat. My sweet boy is getting soooo fat and I love it.
He's my fatty fat fat and I love to kiss him.


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