Saturday, November 10, 2012


Tonight I'm sitting up, alone. My babies are tucked snuggly into their beds (well, maybe not so snug for my little Prince with the no blankets rules etc), my sweet husband is snoozing (tomorrow is our anniversary, he must be anxious for it to begin!), and even the kitties are tucked into strange spots purring away. This is the time I have to think.....I replay my days.
Making dinner with a baby wrapped to your body takes practice.
 I scolded a squirrely Maddie several times....more than I would like. She was just tired and happy to be with us, maybe wanting some special attention, which for my little bug equals wild hysterics, rule breaking, and major meltdowns when things don't go her way. Our little Prince (Jameson Prince is Mad's nickname for him, so I'll go with it) had something causing discomfort and he would not nap for more than 5 minutes even though he was totally and completely exhausted. So, I rubbed some teething oil (clove oil drops in EVOO) on his gums, just in case, wrapped him up on my chest and we walked. His warm little head felt so good on my chest once he finally gave in to his exhaustion and fell asleep. We, very slowly, made dinner this way. I took my baby girl and tucked her into bed. When she finally fell asleep I kissed her cheeks and lips, obsessively my husband says, and whisper that I'm sorry I'm a grouchy mama and I love her so. I know later she will sneak down the stairs and into bed with her mama and daddy, her legs swinging over my waist, her face snuggled into a pillow that probably smells like me.
He watches everything she does. He loves her already.
Whenever the day is over I can remember all the wonderful moments and I wonder why I got so grouchy. Is it just the nature of being the mama? Of loving, caring for, cleaning up after, tending to constantly, that makes patience nearly non-existent? That makes the beauty of our life a little more difficult to see in the heat of the tantrum/moment?

They make me laugh. She adores him.
I looked at Jaime tonight and saw him toddling around the house, making messes with sister, sitting in a high chair eating food that my body doesn't personally provide for him, being naughty, growing right before my very eyes. And then I blinked and I saw my Maddie sitting in my lap. Big beautiful blue eyes laughing at everything I say, giving me big slobbery open mouthed kisses, sitting patiently while I kissed her over and over (I've always done this).
Even when he doesn't nap he is my angel baby. Truly, he lights up our lives.
She was only 1. Perfection. I wish I could have that moment back, just for a moment.
 I must be better. I love my babies so.

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