We Gave Thanks

This time of year always feels crazy. Even more so when you have a little bebe around to care for 24/7. It's nice because he gives me an excuse to slow down and love in the moment. I'm thankful for that....for him, for my babies, my family, my loves. That is what means the most to me this year.

Thanksgiving. His funny little tongue cracks me up!

She got her own tree, in her bedroom, this year.

One thing that has kept me grounded and sane lately is meal time at home. It isn't always easy to make a meal from scratch every single night but that is our goal and most nights we are successful. Sometimes I end up chopping veggies at an insanely slow pace while a baby is strapped to my chest.

He loves to be part of everything I do.

Other nights Mr. Bear struggles to entertain him, when all he wants is a boob and bed, so I can just get the food on the table. Most nights I set down a meal for my family and whisk our Mini Bear off to bed. I know my food is getting cold but I have learned that this time passes too quickly and there is no reason to be resentful of the time I have get to spend sitting, rocking, nursing, and kissing my baby. You would think that would be easy to do but the reality is, when you are mama, the day just keeps going while you sit, be still, and care for the little one. That means cold meals, or no meal at all, missed conversations, messy houses, and many other details of the day that we just have to be ready to skip out on at a moments notice. I struggled with that when I had Maddie. I hate to admit I felt that way but I didn't realize, at the time, how much I'd miss missing things just to be in quiet place with her, alone.

We napped

So when I haven't posted in a while....since that is what usually happens. I am probably doing dishes or caring for my loves (sweet AngryBear included). They are my heart, not just a part of it, ALL of it. I only wish I was better than I am at it.

Happy Holidays Interwebs!

A Night On the Town

Last night The Bear and I went out to dinner with some friends, one of our many childless couple friends. I'm sure it must get annoying listening to me talk about buying diapers, breastfeeding (which The Bear informed me she was too big for, HA!) a toddler, sleeping....or lack of it, eating, bath time, how the hell do we brush her teeth while she screams at us, and...you get the point. We're probably AWESOME to have at dinner!

I was trying my best to not talk about why the buy/sell/trade market of used cloth diapers is so exciting slash financially beneficial slash emotionally gratifying when you're really depressed and suffering from chronic headaches (that's what I tell The Bear anyway) but most of my stories end (and begin) with how funny slash cute slash smart slash destructive my Mad is. Can you blame me???

After several glasses of wine we started planning an evening out with some of their friends that were going to be visiting. "They are really cool," our dinner companions stated, and whew that's great, (right?) because no one likes to be stuck with a couple of duds, "they don't have kids". Ok, I know that the statement wasn't intended to read like I'm implying. Or was it? We were relaxed, having a good time, these friends don't have kids and don't really seem too interested in how awesome ours is (which, for the record is totally ok, I know not everyone is mad about Mad). So, for just a wine induced moment I felt sad. That I was UN-cool because I had a "kid".

The moment was quickly forgotten over panacotta and coffee after which The Bear and I drove home and fell fast asleep, a sleeping snoring dog nestled uncomfortably between us. In the morning I woke early, ready for my nursling to demand to join us, but she was not there. Instead she was safe and sound with her Gram and Poppy running wild and demanding everyone obey her. My sweet and bossy princess.

I realized in that moment that I was ok being un-cool if it meant that I got to wake every day with my little family just the way that it was. I wouldn't trade it for more nights out, more glasses of wine, more mornings to sleep in, more "cool" friends. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My life of diapers, constant snacks and meals, laundry, breastfeeding a toddler, laughs, snuggles, Yo Gabba Gabba, naps & pillow pets is cool to me. It is beyond what I ever imagined and I feel pretty amazing being a part of it all.

And, that's it. Today I am simply grateful for all that I have. My AngryBear. My Baby Bear. My extremely un-cool and beautiful life.