Caffeinated

This morning I was up with the birds (wait, the birds haven't arrived home....Spring is not yet in full swing), or the babies, so I could sneak downstairs and do some yoga. Because if I want to do something for myself I have to make time for it. Me time doesn't just fit into my day and it isn't easy managing it all if I somehow did fit time in. So that is how it is; I either wake early or don't get me time, or a shower. I was up and stretched, and showered, and dressed, before 9 AM, a little Jaime with tired eyes ready to help me make coffee and share my morning banana.

He started out excited to have mama all to himself.

That coffee? I drank the whole press. That day? It lasted for ever. FOR.EVER. Maddie was gone and, yeah, that makes life a little less hectic, but boring. Boring as hell. And Jaime felt the brunt of it. He took two really great long naps in his crib and then in my bed before 1PM. Then he didn't want to nap the rest of the day. We cycled through toy after toy, rearranged baskets (you guys, I'm obsessed with baskets) so there were new fun things to discover, and tried to clean sisters room while she was away, but eventually fussing was all that was left to do. All the while I was thinking thinking thinking. I forget to talk outloud when Maddie isn't around. Or maybe I don't, I just think out loud and don't realize it? Anyway, it was a long day and we had a hard time staying entertained.

So happy to have his best friend back. Also, Maddie is obsessed with naked.

With the kids finally in bed I get to relax.

HA.

I did the second load of dishes for the day. Swept the floors. Picked up toys. Folded towels. Thought about folding the clothes in the dryer (still thinking about it). Mopped the floors. Got annoyed because my floors never look shiny anymore and I can't figure out why. Wiped the appliances down. Made a drink. "Ahhhhhhh" (pretty sure I thought that one rather than saying it)......and sat down to write this post. It isn't at all what I had wanted to write. It isn't eloquent or thoughtful at all really. It just is. This is life for me right now. I'm constantly trying to keep up and it's nearly impossible. I'm trying to be healthy (more on that another time, I hope) and fit all while being the attentive loving mother I long to be for my babies. It's hard.

Stainless steel is pretty but, my Lord, the fingerprints.

 Also, I made this yummy lunch for Stephen and I.

Half an avocado filled with chopped spinach, a fried egg, bacon, and topped with siracha.

 He sent me a text from his office in the basement saying it was delicious. I was so happy. Then I saw his plate in the sink with half of the avocado and half the spinach still on the plate (I guess he thought it was basil?). I knew it was not delicious. Am I the only one who struggles to make food that isn't just enjoyable for myself? I can make food I like. I can make food Maddie likes. But I just sort of miss the mark when it comes to The AngryBear. I hate it.