The Thing About Dreaming Is.....

The house is quiet tonight. Mr. Bear is at the BYU/Utah game decked out in his Utah gear so as not to be confused for a Cougar fan. My Baby Bear is sleeping peacefully, for now, and I am wasting time online. I'm not supposed to be shopping for diapers but does it count if they are super cheap gently used diapers?

Today the furnace went on the fritz and we were cold. Today I am grateful for heat. Today I wish it was Spring.

I'm tired like whoa. I'm in need of some serious M time. I'm craving a treat and a glass of wine.

Currently we are looking into looking for a house. Our little condo, while nice on the pocketbook, is just SOOOOO cramped. I'm cranky at it. I try to imagine our perfect home. It has a big master bathroom. I have my own office for all my "stuff" and a guest bed that I can decorate to my own liking. I can fit all of the nursery in one room. I can fit a bigger co-sleeper next to our bed. I have room for a rocker in the master bedroom. I have a yard ready to be filled with vegetables and a playground for the warm months. There is a porch so Mr. Bear and I can sit and snuggle while the sun sets. There is a place to BBQ and eat outside. Our neighbors are awesome and don't look at us like sinners when we leave the house in jeans on a Sunday. *side note: The Bear says not to expect neighbors to befriend us just because they aren't Mormon either. He suggested I be more friendly. WTF????? I say hi to the neighbor's pug all the time! He loves me. /side note. It is out of Happy Valley. It has a beautiful, big, sunny kitchen. There are nice area's to go for walks. It is perfect. Is that too much to ask?

Now I am going to go dream about houses.

The Worst "Welcome Back to ME!" Post EVER!!!

What a week. WHAT A TOTALLY AWFUL TERRIBLE NO GOOD WEEK!!!! Ok. Not that bad. But, definitely not good. Right before I gave birth to my little Baby Bear I got an awful cold. Sneezing, coughing, sniffling...no sleep etc etc. It sucked. Now I've got that same awful cold again (thanks to my dad and/or sister ;) only this time I have a baby to take care of and because I'm nursing her there isn't much I can take. So. I'm miserable. My head feels like a balloon. But with snot in it. Yes I did go there. On Monday Mr. Bear stayed home with me to help out but unfortunately I was worse on Tuesday. And worse again today. That's three days of feeling awful. THREE!

All this sniffling makes me hate Utah and the disgusting inversion that I blame for getting me to this place of sickness. It has cleared away now but I'm still sick. Ugh.

Oh, and the baby is sick too. = Misery. Last night The Bear slept on my side of the bed, next to her sleeper, and I tried to get some rest in the nursery (also allowing me to cough without waking her). Great in theory but with my chronic sniffling that no amount of nose blowing could cure I slept little and not well. Still, I'm grateful he was willing to do that for me, especially with work the next day, and I hope he can handle another night or two while I get well again.

Today has been long. And tiring. Baby doesn't want to nap, not even in her swing. I don't have the energy or capacity to swaddle her and rock her to sleep like I normally would. What I'm saying is, I'm very very very tired. And I miss being healthy. And I miss the Spring time too.

The Song That Never Ends

Ok. I should have known that I either posted the whole year at once, or settle for half the year, because I only get on at night and usually once the wee one is in bed I'm glued to one of our many t.v. addictions OR sleeping along side her. But really there isn't much to report about the remainder of '09. Two major events make up the rest of the year.

There was this (our trip to Rhode Island to visit Grampy while 7 months pregnant):



and of course this (you should be able to figure this one out no?):



I'd say the trip got the raw end of the deal because it was totally cool BUT having a baby was way more awesome. Way more. Except the part of bringing her into this world. That was kind of a bitch.

Anyway, now I have THIS (photo taken by Wickenden):



and I kid you not it is the most incredible time of my life. Exhausting, fulfilling, maddening, simply amazing every single moment of every single day (notice I said day, not night, because nighttime is NO LONGER amazing in our house). But alas, this blog has seen too much pregnancy, too much baby (wait is that even possible?), and not enough of the old "raw" Melissa. I admit, my life IS baby and little else but I'm still in there somewhere and I guess I'd like to get that back, at least on this little blog. Of course as I have typed all this I've been up about a half dozen times to go put my little bug back to sleep and it makes writing anything, especially writing selfishly for or about myself, extremely difficult. It's a challenge and I am going to take it....ADDITIONALLY I'll be updating our new aptly titled website, The AngryBears with a family blog, recipes we're trying, pictures Mr. Bear or I have taken...and whatever else I can find to make our lives seem more interesting than they really are. So I hope you'll visit my site regularly and comment letting me know how awesome it is *hint hint* while still making THIS site a guilty pleasure (due to the bad comedy and swear words your mom/dad/husband/wife/guardian doesn't want you associating with online).

Over and out.