You Give Me, Something

Last week was my final week at the office before Alien arrives. This means I don't technically have to work anymore....though I spent most of the afternoon today checking up on stuff. MUST.LET.GO.

This ALSO means that I get to wear sweats EVERYDAY for the next week if I wish. And I do wish. Mr. Bear found a pair of HUGE sweats that he gave to me last week. I wear them every single day, from the moment I get off of work until the next morning, and I love them. Love.Them. I swear by pajamas. They may not make me feel look sexy but damn if they don't make me feel good.

Walking in the house at the end of the day, knowing I get to take my jeans off....and EVEN MY BRA IF I WANT TO!.....is seriously the best feeling. There is no greater reward for this pregnant hippo woman. The entire 5 minute climb up our 3 flights of stairs I just focus on the step ahead and remind myself that if I survive (and that is one big IF) I will get to take my clothes off. Aside: I'm sure Mr. Bear wishes I would continue to feel this way once I don't have a huge belly. But now I don't have to walk up the stairs to treat myself to my sweats! It's awesome.

The whole "no work" thing would be much more enjoyable if I wasn't getting sick. Yep. Thanks to some DB (read: DOUCHE BAG!) at the office who got Mr. Bear sick, I am now coughing and suffering a headache. I know that an achy body and sniffles are on the way, probably by this evening. I really REALLY do not want to be coughing during labor. I think the whole giving birth thing looks awful enough without adding a serious cough to the mix.

On the up side, perhaps I can just cough her out.....I know The Bear would think that was totally awesome.

The Ultimate

Where to start. Well. I haven't put make up on in WEEKS (now turning into months) I've stopped trying to remember if I'm wearing the same shirt as I wore 3 days ago (hey if it's clean I'll take it!), I've been snacking on the same Blueberry Luna bar for 3 days...the same bar that I threw half of up on Tuesday because of that lovely Tequila hangover, I got a manicure today and my hands are UNrecognizable....do you really want me to continue? Because I can. Don't get me started on shaving. Underarms are a stretch this week.

And yet, I'm chipper and listening to Bryan Adams while I blog(yeah what are you gonna do about it. FYI my jokes about the music I listen to are NOT jokes. I really do have a Michael Bolton album, just one).

There are 5652 emails total in my Outlook. Who is even noticing that I have 15 unread emails in my inbox and I can't read them because I can't even find them! 22 voicemails....that's nothing compared to my usual 45 (that is the max my phone can hold). I probably shouldn't make a joke about how there are only 22 because I just erased half of them the other day. Awkward! And the paper. My desk is being held responsible for holding 1/2 of the world's rain forest's hostage. Believe me I don't take that accusation lightly. Oh the guilt.

And yet, I'm drinking a Dr. Pepper (lovehandles, what? Huh?) and wishing I could be headed to my vaca in California right this very second. I took a 2 hour lunch and left my phone on silent. I'm really only concerned about finishing my work by 5 so I can go home to Mr. Bear, a delicious cranberry & blue cheese salad & a fancy bottle of wine. Oh, and Grey's. We aren't risking the recording disaster again today so you now know what I'll be doing at 8PM this evening and you better believe it won't be working from home.

I Can Feel the Peace Permeate the Air

Where have YOU been?!? That would be my response if anyone wondered why me and my wonderful blogging self hasn't delivered the usual bloggish hilarity this past week.

First of all, if you didn't know or if you are not from the United States of America (doubtful since my readership consists of my sister, all my friends (3 people)...and me) last Thursday was Thanksfornothinggiving and I was not at work for 5 whole days. Yep, real whole days...and one half.

My Thanksfornothinggiving was just the same as all the other obnoxious dinners had at the Parental's home. We sat at the table and yelled loudly to out speak each other, after a toast to our beloved Uncle who passed away this year, and when we were done I took a nap..... The kids built forts out of toys that took up the entire living room. I sat in the dark with my sister and had a Thanksfornothinggiving celebratory smoke. Celebratory because I made it through one more Thanks for NOTHING year.

My ungratefulness is despicable, I realize this. It isn't that I'm not grateful for the beautiful things in my life. I have a lot to be grateful for and I had a long chat with Baby Jesus that night letting him know how happy I am for all the goodness that he has graced my existence with. It's just that holidays remind me of the past which I prefer to keep in THE PAST. They remind me of my many failures and I'm still trying to keep up the facade that I am AWESOME and have never failed at anything. It's a hard image to keep up when I generally fail at everything. I totally failed life this year and I wouldn't care to celebrate it.

Secondly (don't forget I'm giving you reasons for being absent last week) I have been working. Yeah, I'm a worker. I love it! It's awesome. Almost as awesome as me. I miss lists so I'm going to make a short list about all the AWESOME things that come with working 2 jobs.

Come back soon!!! kthanksloveyoubye